


Na 'Aihue

by McDannoMauLoa



Series: McDanno: A Complete History [5]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alcohol, Coming Out, Dancing, Gay Bar, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-12
Updated: 2012-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-24 13:09:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/263843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDannoMauLoa/pseuds/McDannoMauLoa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny gets kidnapped by an a right wing organization that attempts conversion therapy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Koke Koaloha

**Author's Note:**

> Title translation: "The Thieves"
> 
> Work in progress. Will add characters and warnings as they apply to later chapters. There will be some whump for both our boys in later chapters.
> 
> **WARNING** There will be rape/non-con in later chapters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny enjoy a night out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Translation: "New Friends"

“This was a surprisingly good idea, Steven.” Danny said. “I had no idea there was such a thing as a Japanese _steakhouse._ Just raw fish and seaweed.”

Steve laughed at his partner as he fumbled about with his chopsticks. At least he was trying. Danny had a way of trying new things in an endearingly self conscious way: he tried his earnest best to look like he was already an expert, and that only served to make him look like the greenest of novices.

“True, not the first type of cuisine that comes to mind when one thinks of Japan, but it’s definitely my favorite.” He said. “Danno, keep one finger still, and just move the other one. Like this.” He held up his chopsticks so Danny could see.

He knew bringing his fiancée to [Kobe Steak House](http://honolulukobe.com/index.htm) would be a good idea. It had been a family favorite ever since he was tiny, and it was a tradition he wanted to continue with his own family, now that the promise of one within his grasp, thanks to Danny.   The interior, done up in the minimalist style of a traditional Japanese inn hadn’t changed in the decades Steve had been coming.

“So, what do you want to do after we’re done here?” He asked, focusing on his lobster. He had an idea in mind, but he wasn’t quite sure how Danny would like it.

“Well, I was thinking we might go home and slip into something more – hey, why aren’t you looking at me?” Danny stared at him for a moment. “You asked because you already had something in mind, didn’t you?”

Steve blushed. “I do. I kinda wanted to go for a drink.”

Danny looked perplexed.

“At [Hula’s](http://www.hulas.com/index.html).”

“Oh.” Danny said, taking a bite and then smiling while he chewed. “Look at you all cute, being bashful about going to a gay bar.”

“I’ve never been to one before.” Steve’s blush was spreading.

“Some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.” Danny said, waving his free hand for effect. “They know what it’s like to be discriminated against, so they know how to treat people decently. And a hot guy like you _will_ get hit on.”

“You’ve been to one before?” Steve asked.

“Of course, babe. Had several on my beat back in Jersey. Good drink specials, and good music. But I’ve never been to one… you know, gay myself.”

“You say you’re gay now, do you?” Steve grinned.

“I suppose.” Danny said, making imaginary boxes with his hands at every point. “Not that it really matters. I’m in love with you, and we’re going to be married, so as far as the rest of the world is concerned, that makes me gay. It’s going to be in front of everything I do from now on – gay wedding, gay marriage, gay adoption, gay family. Guess that makes us gay, babe.”

“Never thought of it that way.” Steve said.

“You know I never asked you.” Danny said. “Aside from, you know, loving me, would you say you’re otherwise gay?”

“Oh, probably.” Steve said. “But you were my first guy.”

“You know that’s true for me too. You’re the first gay dude I ever slept with too ya know.”

Steve laughed out loud. “And how many straight dudes have you slept with?”

“Oh, dozens.” Danny said, with a twinkle in his eye. “Seriously, just you, babe.  I think that makes it kinda special, you know?”

That much Steve knew. He knew Danny’s falling in love with him was a matter of the stars aligning correctly. He knew he would likely be the only man in Danny’s life, because he knew if things ever went south, he’d probably go back to women. He wondered if that’s why he didn’t mind being treated like the girl in the relationship – to ease Danny’s way. Or perhaps he really liked it. Really liked having doors held open for him, really liked Danny’s hand at the small of his back to coax him off an elevator or up a staircase, or really liked having Danny reach out and find him in the darkness of their bedroom at night, climb on top of him, and invade him like he’d fully annexed Steve’s body as his own personal property.

Steve sighed in mock exasperation as Danny finally gave in and asked for a fork.

“A valiant effort, Williams.” He chuckled.

“At least I gave it a shot, right?” Danny smiled back. “Can’t pick up everything as quickly as my Super SEAL, can I?”

“I suppose not. Say, speaking of Williams, what are we going to do about that?” Steve ventured.

“Do about that? What do you mean _do_ about that?” Danny asked.

“Well, you know, do about that? When two people get married, one of them changes their name.”

“You mean when a man and a woman get married.” Danny corrected. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully for a moment before giving a very characteristic shrug, and reaching for the soy sauce. Steve flicked his hand away.

“Uh uh, the low sodium _kine_. Green capped bottle. Remember what the doctor said.”

Danny grumbled, but picked up the green bottle, with a sigh.

“I dunno, babe. What did you have in mind?”

Steve studied his plate. He sucked in a breath and let it all out with his reply, “Take mine. I want you to be a McGarrett, Danny.”

Danny took another moment of silent reflection, before suddenly sucking in his own breath in reply.

“I’ll think about it.” He said.

“You’ll think about it.”

“Yeah! I’ll think about it!” Danny was gestured with his fork, having set the soy sauce bottle down. “It’s not like asking ‘paper or plastic’, I gotta think about it. Grace has my last name, I like my last name, and changing it’s a pain in the ass. But I love you, so I will think about it.” He enunciated.

“Fair enough.” Steve said. “How will I know when you’ve made up your mind?”

Danny smiled. “You’ll know, babe. It only took me a couple hours to figure out I loved you back after you ‘fessed up, didn’t it? I’ll figure this one out too. Just gotta give a guy some time, you big, impulsive lug.”

Steve stared at him, fondly, for a moment. “You know you wouldn’t need a fork if you ate your rice plain, without soy sauce.”

Danny mocked him silently, but kept eating. Steve was satisfied. He’d planted the seed, and Danny would eventually find a way to accept what Steve wanted. Steve knew he could give out orders at work and Danny would follow, despite whatever amount of bitching he might be subject to in the meantime. In the time he’d shared his home with his partner, he’d learned that on matters personal, Danny had to reach his own conclusions—at least he had to be led to believe they were his own conclusions. Steve had discovered all he had to do to counteract Danny’s natural pessimism was to throw out a line, and when Danny was in the perfect mood to bite, he would.

The photographer who had visited when they sat down came around with a glossy photo they’d posed for earlier. Steve handed her cash for it. It was a good photo.

The check came and Danny snatched it before Steve had a chance, leaving cash and standing up, offering his hand to Steve.  Steve took it, as Danny helped him out of his chair, and Danny kept hold of it as they stepped out into the warm Honolulu night.

“I’m driving.” Danny said, as Steve handed over the valet ticket. “You’ve had more to drink.”

“Danny, I’m fine.” Steve said.

“Steven.” Danny got quiet as he took Steve’s other hand and squeezed them both for effect while he looked him straight in the eye. “Please.”

Steve knew better than to argue. He nodded and kissed Danny in acquiescence.

The Camaro was pulled around and the boys were soon cruising down Kalakaua Ave toward the east side of Waikiki. Steve would have preferred to walk, as it was such a nice night out, but he knew they’d never get their car back out of valet if they stayed out too late. There would be plenty of other times to stroll down the beach with Danny after a nice dinner, listening to the live music waft out of the hotel lobbies and laugh at the drunken tourists who decided swimming in their underwear after a night at the beach bar was a good idea.

They parked on Kapahulu Ave, and walked the few blocks hand in hand to the Waikiki Grand Hotel, of which Hula’s occupies the second floor. Up a narrow staircase and into the darkened bar, they immediately managed to turn heads, from the bartenders, to the patrons of all shapes and sizes, to a diminutive Latina drag queen with a cocktail tray, who made a beeline for them the moment a bartender pointed them out.

Steve guessed she was closer to Danny’s height were it not for the heels that made her closer to Steve’s.  She was probably about fifty, and had on a red Gloria Estefan curly wig, a rather severe looking leather motorcycle jacket, matching miniskirt, fishnets, and a great deal of makeup that gave the illusion that he was a woman mostly believable, considering he’d had a few drinks.

“You two are too cute!” She exclaimed. “Are you _kama’aina_?”

Steve nodded, to which she squealed in delight. “Too precious! Are you boyfriends?”

Steve nodded again. He caught Danny nodding out of the corner of his eye.

“Do you talk?” She pressed on.

“Yes ma’am.” Steve smiled.

“Ooh, I knew I could tell one of our boys in uniform. What branch? I bet you’re a sailor, aren’t you?”

Steve nodded again. “Yes ma’am.”

“Misty.” She said, holding out the hand not balancing the tray. “Misty Trawler, United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi.”

“Seriously?” Danny asked, shaking her hand.

“Oh yes, honey.” She said, in all sincerity. “But that was years ago, before I grew these.” She indicated her ample breasts with a flourish of her free hand.

“They are spectacular.” Danny said, as Steve felt a twinge of jealousy.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ve still got all the good stuff downstairs, too.” She turned back to Steve. “Did the top, but not the chop.”  She said, pointing down.

Steve blushed and chuckled, while Danny was rendered speechless.

“Well, have a seat, sweeties, I can see I’ve harassed you enough. What can I bring you to drink?”

“Two maitais, please, hun.” Steve said.

“Of course.” Misty mock curtseyed and headed off in the direction of the bar while Steve steered Danny to a table near the large picture windows that looked out over the Honolulu Zoo.

Danny tried to sit across from him, but Steve pulled his partner down onto his lap instead.

“Babe?” Danny asked.

“Just because we’re somewhere I can, Danno.” Steve whispered into his ear. “Kinda nice to look up at you for a change anyway.”

Danny pretended to be insulted as he tried to get up but Steve held him down, playfully. Steve braced, knowing Danny’s typical exit strategy for escaping his wrestling hold was to start tickling him, but their drinks arrived before he could implement his torture.

“That’s some rock!” Misty exclaimed at Steve’s engagement ring. “Are you two gonna get hitched, or are you just a fan of the bling there sailor?”

“We’re getting married.” Steve smiled shyly. “In June.”

“Ah, young love. And a cop and a sailor to boot! How butch! I haven’t seen anything like that since the Village People played here in ’78!”

“Wait, how did you know I was a cop?” Danny asked.

“Sugar, I can see the outline of your badge in your pocket. Never really off duty, are ya hun? Say, you two boys aren’t part of that new Five-0 task force are you?”

“Head of it, darling.” Steve chuckled at himself trying out his flirting on a middle aged queen.

“Good.” Misty said. “Maybe you all ought to investigate the harassment we’ve had going on around here.”

“That sounds like something HPD normally looks into.” Danny said, sipping his drink.

“Oh yeah, HPD, like they give a shit. They take forever. And if we didn’t get so many tourists, I doubt they’d even bother.” Misty rolled her eyes.

“Has she tried to eat you yet?” A voice called over from behind Misty. A younger man, probably in his mid twenties, approached.  He was shirtless and toned, wearing nothing but jeans with a dishtowel tucked into the back. He put an arm around Misty’s shoulders and smiled.

“ _Moi? Jamais!”_ Misty exclaimed. “I don’t eat anybody unless they buy me a drink or two first.” She laughed at her own joke.

Steve excused himself and went to the men’s room. When he looked back he saw Danny was still chatting with Misty and the cute, shirtless bartender, and he felt a twinge of jealousy that quickly subsided when he noticed that nearly every man and woman in the bar was _looking_ at him. He was used to getting attention—he wasn’t naïve enough to think he wasn’t attractive enough to get it—but he’d never been eye fucked quite so much in a single trip to the can.

When he returned to Danny he was deep in conversation with the shirtless young man. Wrapping an arm around Danny’s waist he maneuvered him back into the chair, but perched himself on his partner’s lap for a change. Danny’s maitai had been reduced to a glass of pink tinted, half-melted ice cubes, a pineapple spear with two bite-sized semicircles missing, and a bent paper cocktail umbrella. Misty was right behind Steve with two more.

“These are courtesy of our cherub here.” Misty indicated the shirtless man.

“Blaine.” He proffered his hand, which they both accepted in turn.

“Much obliged, Blaine.” Danny said, raising his glass. Steve followed suit, but only took a tiny sip. He nuzzled the top of Danny’s head. “Do you want that?” He asked. “I think I’m done. I’ll drive home.”

Danny had somehow managed to catch up and surpass Steve on drinking in the short time they’d left the restaurant and made to the bar, though Steve wondered if it wasn’t just because it crept up on Danny more slowly. He knew he metabolized alcohol a great deal quicker than most men—always had.

They chatted with Blaine about the harassment they’d been seeing around the bar lately, which surprised Steve. Hawai’i was, in general, an accepting place with a “live and let live” outlook on people who didn’t quite fit the mold, and even the ancient Hawaiians had accepted homosexuality, but fear was a natural element in any society, Steve thought, and fear and misunderstanding bred the kind of bigotry that was responsible for that type of harassment. He made a mental not to look into it when there was a break in their current caseload.

Two drinks and several casual conversations later, Steve felt Danny’s hand slip between his thighs, which plumped his dick a little. “Let’s get out of here, baby.” Danny whispered into his ear. Misty waved them goodbye and wished them a safe drive home as Steve walked and Danny stumbled into the Honolulu night.

***

By the time they reached their driveway and had gotten out of the car, Danny definitely needed an arm around Steve’s shoulder to get into the house.  They’d stumbled through the living room when Danny turned and with a dumbly drunken smile had swung around and wrapped his arms around Steve, resting one cheek against his chest. Steve, not entirely sober himself, simply returned the embrace. There were never enough moments in the day to cuddle that irresistible Danno. Steve pondered that every time he was intimate with Danny he felt as though he’d been making up for all the times in the year he’d known him that he’d wanted to kiss him or hold him and couldn’t. He reckoned the first flush of novelty would eventually wear off a bit, but he was determined to enjoy it while he had it.

He didn’t realize they were swaying until Danny mentioned it.

“If we’re gonna dance, let’s have some music.”

Steve smiled. “Sure thing.” He picked up the remote and clicked through some internet radio stations until he settle on an Ella Fitzgerald antique that was perfectly suitable for a good slow dance, although it was more of a hold Danny up and keep his ass from hitting the floor in time with the music than it was a slow dance. Still, Steve, thought, points for romanticism were due.

“Danno?” he asked.

“Yes?” Danny mumbled.

“Would you say we came out today?”

“Whaddaya mean, babe? Everyone knew.”

Steve shrugged and sighed at the same time as he rearranged his grip on his partner. He was fading fast, and getting much heavier. Steve pondered the saxophone riff coming from the speakers during an instrumental break in the song for a moment.

“I mean do you think we came out to be among our tribe?” He said.

“Five-0 is our tribe.” Danny said.

“Five-0 is our _ohana._ Your tribe is like a bigger _ohana_. Like they can be strangers, but you still have a bond with them. It’s just as important to come out among people who are like you than it is to admit to the people you’re different from that you’re different.”

“I don’t feel different.” Danny said.

“We’re different, babe.” Steve sighed. “Love changes everything.”

“Take me to bed, babe. If you’re gonna quote Lloyd Weber musicals it’s time to pack it in.” Danny said to Steve’s chest. “And for the record, I was never in the closet because I was never hiding anything. That was you.”

Steve tried to argue, but couldn’t—he knew Danny was right.

“I guess _I_ came out then.” Steve mused.

“You did.” Danny said, putting his weight on his feet, and looking up into Steve’s eyes. “I’m going to bed, and I want your gay ass in bed with me so I have my favorite pillow.”

“Alright babe.” Steve said as Danny turned around and pulled Steve’s arms around his shoulders like a cape, and started up the stairs, his Steve-cape draped around him. Neither man bothered to take their clothes off as they fell into bed, falling at once into an inebriated, dreamless sleep.


	2. 'Ena Makani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of Steve and Danny's date nights meets a violent end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Translation: "Stormy Wind"
> 
> "Haole" is a well-known term in the islands for white person. It's use is somewhat controversial, but I've included it here for realism and depth.

By the third consecutive Tuesday Steve and Danny had been out for dinner and to Hula’s immediately afterwards, they and the rest of the team had realized Tuesdays were now their official “date night”.

“So, what are the other nights?” Kono had asked Tuesday afternoon during a paperwork party that had them all sitting around a large conference table, enmeshed in piles upon piles of paperwork on a high profile missing person case that was threatening to go cold anyway.

“No dinner. Straight to sex on the living room floor and cold pizza out of the fridge afterwards.” Danny deadpanned without looking up from his writing. “We’re really quite domestic.”

Kono looked over at Steve, who had raised his bottle of water halfway to his mouth when he caught her glance, nodded as seriously as he could muster, watched her palm her face, and gave a wry smile before taking a swig. He gave a one shouldered shrug in response to her blushing after he’d put the water bottle down.

“You asked, cuz.” Chin chortled.

Steve looked over at Danny. He ceased writing furiously for a second and he caught a quick conspiratorial glance before he looked back down his paperwork and bit the smile out of his lip.  “Actually, Kono,” Danny said, putting down his pen, “Date night isn’t much different than any other night. We just make a point to go out instead. Dinner, drinks at Hula’s and our suave Mr. McGarrett here usually tries a move on me when we get home, which my chaste self declines, as we retire to our separate chambers to spend an hour in silent, reverent prayer.” He held his thumb and forefinger out in a signal of finesse to emphasize his point.

“Mo bettah.” Kono laughed.

“We just want to have some ‘us’ time before we get hitched and have kids.” Steve smiled at Kono, figuring Danny had tortured her enough.

“Oh you’re having kids? How does _that_ work, exactly?” She caught herself as soon as she spoke, and Steve laughed out loud as Chin smile and shook his head. “She’ll learn one of these days.” He said to nobody in particular.

Danny shot an angelic smile across the table. Kono was braced for another wholly inappropriate answer.

“Well,” he began, “when two men love each other very much…” he fairly dripped with sarcasm.

“No! I don’t wanna hear it!” Kono covered her ears.

Danny’s head bobbed with a silent chuckle, as he winked at Steve.

Steve couldn’t resist. “It’s sort of like ‘Two guys, one cup’ if you will.”

“And a turkey baster!” Danny laughed.

“Oooook!” Chin laughed, draining his soda and standing up. “Today’s pretty much shot. Do you mind if I take off?”

“Actually, I’d have to agree.” Steve said. “Concentration’s blown. How ‘bout Morimoto’s, babe?”

Danny made a face. “I’m still not over that fish-diving incident. Chai’s?”

It was Steve’s turn to make a face. “Meh. Liliha?”

“Might as well be McDonald’s.”

“I could always take another stab at getting Boardwalk.” Steve noticed the cousins had fled.

“Roy’s?”

Steve smiled warmly.  The last time they had eaten at Roy’s was on Kaua’i the night before Danny proposed. “Works for me. Let’s make a reservation. Wait was 45 minutes last time I went there, and it was a Monday night during football season.” Confident they were alone, Steve slapped Danny’s ass. “Book ‘em, Danno.”

 “Nice, Steven. Real nice.” He pulled out his phone to dial.

***

There wasn’t a wait at Roy’s.

Steve hadn’t realized they left the office so early, but it was 4:15 by the time they got to Waikiki and parked. No wonder the hostess had told Danny there was really no need for a reservation. The meal was memorable: short ribs for Danny, salmon for Steve, and a molten lava soufflé that Danny devoured but Steve could only manage a small bite of. Or rather he _could_ manage it, but eating out once a week was beginning to take a toll on his physique. He didn’t consider himself vain, but he didn’t like that he’d gained a few pounds in the last month. Relationship weight, Chin called it. He hoped he was wrong.

They cut through the Halekulani and the Sheraton and ventured onto Waikiki Beach for the walk to Hula’s.

“I almost forgot!” Steve exclaimed when they reached Kuhio Beach Park. “The hula show! I haven’t seen it in at least twenty years. Let’s stop a while babe.”

“Really?” Danny asked. “Hula? As much as one loves dancing girls, isn’t that a touristy thing?”

Steve shook his head vigorously. “Mom did hula until she died. It was banned during the 1800s until it was revived by King Kalakaua.”

“Kalakaua. Like Kono?” Danny asked, as he sat on the grass. “Is Kono a princess or something?”

“Not really.” Steve said. “It’s not an entirely uncommon name, but the Hawaiian monarchy wasn’t hereditary. The monarch appointed their successor. When Kalakaua died, he appointed his adopted sister, Lili’uokalani as heir. The heir apparent that she picked predeceased her, so the monarchy can’t be legitimized again.”

“Interesting. We’d never hear the end of it if she was.” Danny smiled.

“No, we wouldn’t.” Steve took Danny’s hand and held it on the grass.  The tourists could think what they liked.

The first portion of the show was hula _kahiko_ , Steve’s favorite. The dancers moved to _mele_ , or ancient chants, without music. He explained all he knew of hula to Danny to fill in the gaps the presenters might have missed.

Next up was hula _auana_ , set to music with western instruments, but Steve’s jaw dropped at the opening number.

“I’ll be damned.” He said.

“What, babe?” Danny asked, with a twinge of concern.

Steve hadn’t meant to sound that affected.

“It’s _Kaulana Na Pua_.” Steve said. “I’ve never seen it done as hula.”

“Why not?”

“It’s an angry song.” Steve said. “Mom always said hula was for beautiful things, happy things, things you smiled about, because you always smiled when you did hula. You did hula in celebration, reverence, and thanksgiving. This song is so angry it’s almost bitter.”

“You can’t tell by the music.” Danny mused.

“Mom disagreed with it.” Steve said, staring at the dancers. “There was a time when this song was considered too stoic and proud for hula, but over the years it began to be performed as a graceful hula for _makuahine_ – elder women.”

“What are they angry about?” Danny asked.

Steve sighed. “When Lili’uokalani was overthrown by the American businessmen, they installed a provisional government with the backing of the United States. The Royal Hawaiian Band was told they had to sign an oath of allegiance to the new government or they’d ‘eat rocks’. Instead of doing so, they all resigned. This song was written in memory of their act and in protest of the overthrow of the Queen— part of the lyrics even loosely translates to “we are satisfied with the rocks”.

Danny looked genuinely sad. “You love these islands.”

“I do.” Steve agreed. “Do you?” He asked after a moment. “I know you weren’t crazy about Hawai’i when you first moved here, but I was kinda hoping you were changing your mind.”

Danny looked down, gathering his thoughts, and a broad smile illuminated his face. He turned to Steve. “I’m beginning to realize that loving Steve McGarrett and loving these ‘islands of Aloha’, as you call them, are little more than two horns on the same very stubborn goat.”

***

“Aloha boys!” Misty greeted them at the door. For once, she was without a tray in her hand, and she gave both of them hugs.

“You like?” She indicated her oversized earrings in the shape of a ship’s anchor. “I wore them because I knew my favorite Naval Officer would be joining us with his edible little police officer fiancée this evening.”

“And it’s early enough for _Glee._ ” Danny pointed out.

“That’s right!” Steve brightened. He liked _Glee_ , and had forgotten the bar aired it on all screens on Tuesday nights – they were usually in later, and Steve was in the habit of watching it on DVR later in the week. Steve led Danny to a table where they could view one of the screens easily. The bar was pretty empty, even for a midweek evening.

“And who do we like on the show?” Misty queried. Hunky jock guy like Finn? Bad boy like Puck? Or do you like Mr. Shu?”

“I like Sue.” Steve smiled.

“Odd taste, but I can dig it.” Misty said. “Mai tais?” They nodded.

“He likes Sue because she’s diabolical, conniving, and megalomaniacal.” Danny said. “He’s a track suit away from being her stunt double.”

“I’m not conniving!” Steve argued.

“And they’re off!” Misty muttered as she slinked away, by now fully used to their weekly barguments.

“Does that mean you admit to the other two?” Danny raised his eyebrows.

“Neither confirm nor deny.” Steve shot Danny a sideways grin.

Danny shook his head. “Three months engaged and I’m already up to my ass in SEAL shit.” He chuckled. “How did you talk me into this Steven?”

“You’re the one who popped the question, right after you broke the law to do it.” Steve pointed out. He was pretty sure it wasn’t the first completely nude wedding proposal in recorded history, but it was certainly the first he’d ever heard of. “Shh. Sue’s on.”

Misty had returned with their mai tais, and refused Steve’s credit card when it was offered. “Blaine’s taking care of this round, and he says just let me know when you’re ready for another.”

Blaine, again shirtless, flashed them a smile and threw up a shaka from behind the bar. Tourists and locals alike we starting to filter into the bar; it was becoming more crowded. All comers seemed to find their way to Hula’s.  While not the only gay bar on the island, it definitely attracted the most diverse crowd.

Determined to spend some money, Steve instead handed cash to the auntie with a basket of lei, and selected a brilliant orange _ilima_ for Danny, and draped it around his neck with a kiss.

“What’s this for?” Danny asked.

“No reason. Just Aloha.” Steve said. “Date night.”

Danny smiled. “Mahalo.”

***

They lingered much longer, and drank much less than usual, but hadn’t paid for a drink the entire evening. Blaine was such a nice guy, Steve thought, but he couldn’t keep up comping drinks for them all night. He came in breathless, after having a cigarette and hiking back up the stairs, and headed straight for Steve and Danny, his green eyes flashing in panic and anger.

“They’re back.” He said, loudly. “Those guys we told you about.”

“Shit!” Misty shouted from near the bar. She set the tray down and threw up her hands. “This bar’s been here a damn long time and we’ve been through a hell of a lot more than one sad bunch of repressed faggots taking out their closeted tension on those of us who have the balls to fucking admit it.”

Steve’s capacities were definitely clouded, but a new kind of rage boiled inside him that seemed to clear his head. Never before had he been faced with those who might harm him because of who he loved. Granted, he’d been out only a few weeks, but until this point, the darker side of being on the fringes of society had eluded them both—until tonight.

“Blaine, call HPD, please.” Danny asked, calmly.

Steve checked out his partner. He was definitely not firing on all cylinders either. He chided himself for drinking too much.

“Sweetie, they’re not gonna be here for three hours, if they come at all. We’re gonna take care of this right now.” She slipped out of her heels and took off her earrings and her rings. “Come on, boys, let’s go show these fucks it takes a _man_ to be a fag.”

Steve and Danny exchanged glances before they followed her out into the night.

Misty was the first one off the steps onto the sidewalk. There were only two of them, both _haoles_ , but they were big, buff _haoles_. They could have been twins. Close cropped blond hair, blue eyes, both in wifebeater tanktops, standing their ground around another _haole_ man in his late twenties that Steve recognized as a regular at the bar. He was very shy, and usually came with a friend or two, but was never very loud. Misty was every bit a man as she walked right up to the one on the left, and shouted “What’s your motherfucking malfunction, you piece of shit? Why can’t you just leave us alone and go fuck pigs, or your brother here, back on the farm?”

His tormenters distracted, the bar patron escaped and disappeared down Kapahulu Avenue toward the mountains.

Steve shot Danny a look, which Danny recognized instantly.”

“Calm yourself!” he hissed. “I’m gonna go pull her off. We don’t want a fight. We just want them to leave, peaceably.”

Steve admired his partner for doing what he’d been trained to do as police officer – diffuse the situation instead of escalating it. He vaguely registered the squeal of tires in the distance as he took up position on the right side of the two men while Danny approached Misty in an attempt to back her off the brother. Steve didn’t even know if they were really brothers, but they looked so similar it was a safe bet. Their upturned noses and pink complexions gave them an almost porcine profile, their biceps so big their hands were angled out from their body when their arms were at rest. Steve was by no means intimidated, but he too knew the value of avoiding a scuffle with these two.

“Danny, Danny, look out!” He shouted in horror, reaching for his gun as three more men rushed out of the adjacent alley, caught Danny off guard and covered him with a burlap bag. He struggled for a moment to get the bag back off, but the second thug hit the top of the bag hard with a crowbar and Danny slumped to the ground, picked up in an instant by the two taller men while the shorter one opened the door of the white van that had screeched to a halt in front of the bar.

Steve felt the adrenaline pulse through his veins as he watched his partner being taken from him in what was clearly a calculated ambush. Immediately upon seeing what was happening with Danny, Misty threw a punch at the brother in front of her, and ducked the one he returned. The other brother lunged at Steve before he could get a hand on his gun, and Steve laid him flat on the pavement in three deft movements. Misty was still engaged with the other brother, but the first thought in Steve’s mind was to _stop the goddamned van_ that his partner had just been thrown unconscious into. He ran into the street in front of the van to prevent it from leaving.

Pulling his weapon, he cocked and leveled it at the masked driver behind the wheel, his rage almost compelling his finger to grease the trigger. He got off a shot that went clean through the windshield a split second before the screech of tires again filled his ears.  The grill of the van hit him squarely in the chest and everything he knew flashed in front of him. Reflexively covering his face and whipping his head to the right, he watched the familiar profile of Diamond Head turn sideways as he fell to the pavement before his world faded to black.


	3. Ka'awale'ana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny begins to understand the methods and motives of his captors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title translation: "Separation"
> 
> I warned for non-con already, but another warning never hurts. If this is a squick, please skip this chapter.

A beam of sunlight bathed Danny’s face when he came to. Despite having apparently been hit on the back of his head (which accounted for his glaring headache), he remembered the events of the evening with stark realism. Worst of all had been the look of abject bereavement on his Steve’s face just before the bag covered him and he saw stars through the blackness.

Now coherent, adrenaline, anger, and rage ran green in his veins as he studied his surroundings. He was on a sleeping mat on a stack of wooden pallets a few feet off the ground.

 _That explains my aching back._

The room was tiny, whitewashed, and impeccably tidy, but not altogether clean. The tiny window near the ceiling was the source of the sunbeam, and his first thought was to fit through it if he could, but eyeballing it he knew it was too small, and too high. Next, he tried the door, which he found to be both locked and dead bolted from the outside. Greatness.

He sat back down on the bed and fingered the ilima lei Steve had given him last night.

 _Whoever these people are, they’ve pissed off the wrong SEAL. They’re toast, finished, caput, pau._

Presently the door creaked open and in walked the two thugs whose altercation he’d attempted to break up the previous evening, one of whom was sporting a black eye, the other a busted lip. With them was a shorter man (still taller than Danny) dressed in a subtle reverse-print Aloha shirt and a pair of nice tan slacks. He looked like he was ready to hobnob with state government heavy hitters. He was handsome, too, in an impeccably groomed sort of way – dark hair, light eyes, his face had a certain sort of charm – and he looked like he could have been the love child of Donnie Osmond and Rob Lowe.

“Aloha, Danny.” He said, sitting down on the wooden chair opposite the bed, the only other furniture in the room.

Danny’s rage had not subsided, but he crossed his arms tightly over his chest as though he needed to physically restrain himself. He felt he did. He knew if he tried anything this mystery Ken doll’s henchmen would put pain to him.

“Who the fuck are you and why the fuck am I here?” he managed.

The man chuckled to himself, crossing his legs at the knees.

“Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Ken Scott. I’m the one who requested you be brought to us.”  He smiled, a Cheshire cat grin that confirmed to Danny he was under no circumstances to trust anything this man said.

“Dr. Scott?” Danny smiled. “Like _Rocky Horror_ Dr. Scott? What, did your wheelchair get away from you doing the time warp or something?”

The man shifted and rolled his eyes, clearly irritated at the association; Danny could tell it wasn’t the first time he’d heard the joke.

“My friends call me Dr. Ken.” He smiled.

“I don’t give a shit what anybody calls you, you asshole. You realize you’re in a serious amount of trouble for this! You don’t just _take_ people! You are in violation of so many laws right now I don’t even know where I’m going to _begin_ filling out paperwork when my partner hunts you down and I have to physically restrain him from killing you.”

The smile remained cemented on Dr. Ken’s face. “That’s actually why you’re here, Danny.”

“What, I’m here because you have a death wish? I’m here because you want to know what having your limbs removed feels like?” Danny was losing his temper in spite of his tight self-hug.

“It’s very simple. We’re here to help you.”

“Help me? I’ll be the first to admit, I need a lot of help, but it’s mainly in the area of not getting blown up beside my crazy fiancée, and apparently, avoiding getting kidnapped in front of gay bars in Waikiki. So unless you’re here to help me with either one of those admittedly minor problems, you can just fuck off and let me go. OK?”

Dr. Ken sighed. “Danny. He’s not your fiancé. Your marriage will not be recognized, either by the laws of this land, or the laws of God, upon which they are based. You’re on the wrong path, Daniel Williams, and we’re here to help you regain salvation.”

Danny nodded slowly. “Oh, you’re one of _those._ ” he said, feeling his sarcasm meter click into overdrive. “Well, I’ve got news for you, _doctor_ ¸ if that is in fact your name – I am an agnostic Catholic, so I’ve got the guilt thing down, thank you, and my partner’s religion involves a lot of heavy weaponry and martial arts training, and by the way: when we _will_ be married, in June of 2012, the State of Hawai’i will recognize it as a civil union, and regardless, it is _love_ , which neither you, nor any government, or unfortunately even _I_ , apparently, can put any stop to. So thank you very much for your time, and your obvious concern, but I’m perfectly well. Now let me go before I lose my temper, and we’ll just forget this ever happened.” He said, making a move for the door. One of the porcine twins stepped between him and the door and roughly shoved him backward, causing him to fall back on his ass as he hit the bed.

Dr. Ken sighed again. “In time I hope you can understand we’re going to help you overcome this sickness, Danny.”

“What, love? Love is a sickness?”

“What you have is not love, Danny. It’s sex. That man seduced you and yours is a psychological addiction just like any other – a lust for flesh that is clearly counter to God’s plan. I’ve read and heard a lot about you, you know. That man’s task force has become very high profile, and when we heard that you’d been taken over to sin, we knew we could help you, and your family, and your little girl, back on the correct path. You do want what’s right for your family, don’t you Danny?”

Danny ran a hand through his hair, feeling the bump on the back of his head in the process.

“First of all, _that man_ , as you call him, has a name. It’s Lieutenant Commander Steven J. McGarrett, United States Naval Reserves, aka Steve, aka my fiancé, aka the man I love. Look-“he said, pulling out his wallet and fishing out the picture of Steve that he’d gotten a notion and taken a few weeks earlier. The picture was of Steve, sitting on their lanai, with a beer in his hand.

“Here’s the picture that I carry of him. Look at that.” He said, handing the picture to Dr. Ken. “That’s my Steve. It’s not a picture of his ass, or his penis, or his fuckin’ solid arms. It’s just a picture of a man, like you and I, who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Sex be damned. So I don’t know what gives you people the right to sum up my relationship that I’ve entered willingly and of my own free will, and put a value on it saying it’s dirty, and hateful, and sinful, because that’s _your_ opinion, but it’s _my_ life. And it will include this man, because he is what’s right for my family – shit, he _is_ my family, whether you like it or not.”

“I can see this will take some time.” Dr. Ken stated flatly. “We’ll have to ease you in gradually.” He said, getting up to leave.

“Give me back my picture.” Danny spat, holding out his hand.

“Baby steps, Danny. Break the addiction.” Dr. Ken said, pocketing the photo.

“Fine.” Danny said, as Dr. Ken was leaving. “Just take it, you know, cause I don’t need it to know the man I love – he’s in here” he said, patting his heart “and he will be forever—longer than forever.” He moved toward the door after him, the twins turning around and squaring off, but Dr. Ken held up a hand, which Danny grabbed by the wrist and held in a vice grip, while he stared straight into the doctor’s eyes.

“I want you to take a good, long look at that picture, _Doctor Scott.”_ He spat with disdain. “Because I will guarantee you this, and you mark my words, because it will be inevitable as the sun rising over Diamond Head: that face—that perfect, beautiful face—is going to be the last face you see before you die.”

***

About an hour later, a young blonde woman came in with a tray, containing a ham sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water.

“I’m supposed to watch you eat.” She said. “I’m Bethany.”

“I don’t suppose you could let me out instead, there Bethany?” Danny joked.

“You haven’t gone through your therapy yet.” She said.

Danny was feeling philosophical. “Therapy for what?”

“Homosexuality.” She said, the look on her face betraying that she thought “curing homosexuality” was the easiest thing in the world.

“Who’s a homosexual? I’m not.” He gestured to himself with both his hands.

“But you have sex with men.” Bethany deadpanned.

“I have sex with one man,” Danny corrected “And I love him, and we’re getting married, and he’ll likely be the only man, the only _person_ that I will have sex with for the rest of my days. Does that make me a homosexual? Because last I checked, ‘homosexual’ means you’re mainly attracted to members of the same sex, which I’m not. My preference is women, but, you see, homosexuality and heterosexuality isn’t exclusive. It doesn’t mean you like just one sex; it just means one sex is in majority over the other. So I am, for all intents and purposes, a heterosexual. I just happen to have sex with one man, who, as mentioned previously, I love very deeply.”

“That’s not love.”

“Why not?”

Bethany paused. “Because it’s wrong.”

“Whether it’s right or wrong, which, by the way, I don’t believe there is such a thing as ‘wrong’ love, just for the record, doesn’t mean it’s not love. There’s violence in self defense and there’s violence in aggression, but they’re both still violence.”

“Are you going to eat the sandwich Danny?” She said, exasperated.

“I’ll eat it when you explain to me why it’s necessary to break the law to ‘cure’ me of a disease that doesn’t exist. Since when do you have the right to unlawfully imprison me because of things that I do, legally, in the privacy of my own home?”

“It’s not your own home.” Bethany reasoned. “It belongs to the man who seduced you.”

“First, you’re dodging the question – I asked you about what gives you the right to break the law, not whether you consider my home to be legally mine.  Second, that’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart. My name is on the title, right under my fiancée’s. Our checkbook is the same. He’s the beneficiary on my life insurance, and I’m the beneficiary on his. And let me also tell you, Miss ‘What You Have is Not Love’, money from both our paychecks is direct deposited into a trust fund for our daughter to use to go to college. ‘That man who seduced me’ as you call him, is putting money aside for who I’m sure you would refer to as ‘my’ daughter, but who I refer to as ‘our’ daughter, to go to college, because that big-hearted man has enough love for a family many, many times larger than the one he’s got, the one that packed him away and discarded him under the guise of ‘his own protection’, and although I’m sure it will pain you to hear this, we have plans for a much larger one than we already have.”

“And how are you going to do that?” She asked, seeming genuinely interested, although the crinkle in her upper lip continued to betray her uneasiness with the topic.

“With a surrogate. Care to volunteer?” He said, sarcastically.

“Are you saying you find me attractive?” She asked, smiling.

 _Oh she thinks she’s won. Bitch._

”You’re not my type.” He stared her down.

“Not into blondes?” She smirked.

“Not into bigots. “

Danny smiled and leaned back against the concrete all as Bethany fled without another word.

***

There was no air conditioning in the room and Danny was sweating profusely by the middle of the afternoon. He was hot and sticky, bored, and had to go to the bathroom. He was just about to knock on the door and shout for somebody to let him out to go pee when it opened and one of the beefy twins, the one with the black eye, appeared.

“Oh good, Bluto, I’m glad you’re here, because I really have to go to the-“

The door slammed and Danny was cut short by the man pulling him close and hungrily kissing him, jamming his tongue down Danny’s throat. Startled, he tried to shout but the more he opened his mouth, the more tongue he got from this disgusting oaf in return.  With no other choice, it was either keep this up and choke on the man’s tongue, or get him to cut it the fuck out, Danny bit down as hard as he could. The man grunted in pain and pulled back, and Danny barely had time to wipe the saliva from his lips before the big man’s clenched fist made contact with his face, spinning him around. He cried out and stood up to turn around and hit right back, but before he had bent all the way back up he felt a strong hand on the back of his neck and his face hitting the concrete wall once, twice, before he slumped, kneeling on the mattress. He tasted blood in his mouth, could feel more beginning to trickle down his right cheek bone, and knew from the feeling he’d have a prizewinning shiner on his right eye later.

His new sparring buddy, however, wasn’t finished yet. He felt a hand around each ankle and a rough tug, which scraped his face the rest of the way down the wall, leaving a bright crimson trail of blood. Danny realized in horror that his pants were being yanked down for what he hoped was for a purpose other than what he was sure was coming next. Not wanting to risk any more manhandling than necessary, his flight instinct left him and the pressure between his legs followed by blunt pain confirmed that it really was happening. He willed himself to lose consciousness to escape, but the best he could manage instead were silent tears flowing steadily out of glassy eyes that stared at the wall as he laid his undamaged left cheek on the mattress, ashamed and disappointed that he’d lost a fight, embarrassed at the undignified,  ass-high position he’d been forced into, and angry that his first time bottoming hadn’t been with Steve.

Thankfully, the now-rapist didn’t last very long, and, as though solely to add insult, he shot inside Danny, who, feeling the warm liquid deep inside him, would have otherwise panicked if he hadn’t already given up. His attacker withdrew just as quickly as he’d begin, hiked up his shorts and left without a word or another touch.  Danny continued to cry until his tears ran out and he finally, mercifully, descended into an uneasy sleep.

***

Steve’s eyes snapped open, his nostrils flared, and his jaw clenched as he regained consciousness in the hospital bed and instantly remembered the events before he blacked out.  He turned his head and took in a sleeping Kono and a distraught Chin Ho.

“Kono, he’s awake.” Chin shook his cousin awake.

Steve looked around the hospital room. He’d been in this room before, on a previous trip to the hospital.  The clock on the bedside table flashed 1:17 AM and a witching hour Honolulu glittered outside his window.  He took a moment to filter all the white hot rage filling his body into a sentence that rang clear as a bell to his gathered _ohana:_

”We’re going to find my fucking boyfriend.”


	4. Ka Hahai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Translation: "The Hunt"

No sooner had Steve got the words out, words that were both a threat and a resolute promise to find Danny before anything worse could happen, there was a racket in the hallway outside and the cousins both turned toward the doorway in unison. Kono, a bit more excitedly than Chin, who Steve thought would be level headed trapped in a barn fire with a herd of psychotic elephants.

“Goddammit, I just watched the man get run down on the street, I want to see if he’s _da kine_ , you know?!”

Steve smiled. “Misty.”

“Want me to go tell them she’s ok?” Chin asked.

Steve nodded. “Before she commits a homicide, please.”

Chin reappeared a moment later with Misty.

“Oh baby, oh poor Steve!” Misty cooed, rushing to his bedside. Steve caught an amused look on the faces of both the cousins. “Do you hurt? I bet you hurt! I knew even getting run over by a van couldn’t stop you though! We gotta find Danny! We gotta get those motherfuckers who did this.” Her pitch dropped two full octaves on the last sentence.

“Slow down.” Steve said, laughing. “We’re gonna find Danny.”

“Good.” Misty said. “I’ll help. I got a partial plate off the van.” She pulled a crumpled bar napkin out of her purse.

“This is written in lipstick.” Steve noted.

“Honey it’s all I had. I sewed a pocket on the inside of this skirt.” She indicated the lipstick tucked into her miniskirt. “Hey, that shit’s expensive!” She protested in response to Kono’s raised eyebrows.

“Alrighty.” Steve grunted as he swung his legs off the bed. “Why am I naked?”

“Honey, look at you.” Misty said. “If I worked in the ER, I’d want to make sure I checked you out thoroughly!”

“Mmm. Whatever.” Steve said, pulling off the gown. “Where are my clothes?”

Kono handed him a bag marked “Personal Belongings”, trying not to look at the McGarrett family jewels, but giggling nonetheless. It was Chin’s turn to raise his eyebrows as he chuckled and averted his eyes.

It was Misty who let out what the cousins were probably thinking. “Damn, girl! No wonder your cute little boyfriend walks like that!”

Steve laughed and shook his head. “He’s the top.”

“He’d have to be, wouldn’t he?” Misty smiled wryly.

“Ho brah!” Chin exclaimed. “TMI!”

“Yeah,” Kono agreed. “We’re just gonna wait, out in the penis – I mean ballway - _hallway_. Take your time.”

“Better go follow them.” Steve said to Misty, smiling into the bag while he fished for his boxer briefs. “Give that plate to Chin – he’ll call it in so we can get a head start on finding Danny.”

He turned to see that Misty had left the room before he let himself start to cry. It felt unnatural – almost two in the morning and the only place Danny would normally be—only place he should _ever_ be—is safe and warm in their bed, with his head on Steve’s chest, snoring softly, dreaming of Jersey, and good Italian food.

Steve had just gotten his underwear on when he heard a voice behind him. “Whoa there killer, where do you think you’re going in such a big hurry?”

He turned and examined the short Asian woman from head to toe. He’d seen her several times, either when Danny had been in the hospital or he himself had been. She knew about Five-0’s special needs, but she was a sensible pragmatist – giving direct answers to questions when asked, and letting some things slide for the sake of an investigation if needed.

“Dr. Fuji, I was just getting dressed so I could get out of here and find out who kidnapped Danny.” He said.

“Don’t put that shirt on.” She said. “You’re probably OK to go, but just hop on that bed real quick so I can check you out and make sure. It looked like you just bumped your head pretty bad, but you can never really tell until they come to.” She smiled.

He began to protest, but she silenced him with a raised finger. “Steve, I know you want to find Danny, and if I weren’t a medical professional who took an oath to do no harm, I’d cut the bastards into little pieces,  but you’ll be completely useless if you walk out of here without the right treatment and fall apart in the middle of your investigation. So jump up here, I’ll make sure you’re ok, and then you’re ready to go, K?”

Steve sighed, knowing she was right. “Alrighty then.”

Dr. Fuji, for the first time seeming to have noticed Steve was crying, stepped closer to the bed and wiped away a new tear that had just crested Steve’s cheekbone. Steve noted that although he was sure she’d worked several hours without a break; her eye makeup still appeared to be fresh.

“I just want to check the bump.” She said, feeling for the lump on the back of his head. “All the scans came back ok. Is there any pain?”

Steve nodded. “Just a little.”

“Dull or sharp?”

“Dull.”

“On a scale of one to ten, ten being highest?”

“Two.”

“Probably really a four.” She smiled.

Steve looked at her quizzically.

“One point for being a man, one point for being a Navy SEAL. I’ve done this a long time. Don’t blink.”

She checked his eyes, and after she was done Steve felt as though she had seen every emotion swimming inside them, which was a lot.

“You’re lucky, Steve.” She said, putting her hands on his shoulders. “You and I both see a lot of unpleasant things in our line of work, so I know you know that despite our best efforts at thinking positively, the outcome can always be unhappy. But know if there’s anybody who deserves a happy ending, it’s you and Danny. Best of luck, Steve, and give ‘em hell.”

“Mahalos, Doctor.”

She smiled as she turned to leave. “I’ll be watching for news.”

Steve let the tear he was holding back fall as she left the room.

***

“We’ve got a match on the plate.” Chin said as Steve walked out of the hospital room, now fully dressed. “It’s a rental, from Enterprise. Their office opens at five, so we can have them pull the rental records.”

Steve nodded. “Misty, Chin can take you back to your car. Chin, she parks at the Zoo, across the street from Hula’s. Misty, do you have any way to get your hands on the security footage from the bar tonight?”

Misty nodded. “Of course, sugar.”

“Uh, Steve?” Chin interjected.

“I drove my bike.” Chin looked apologetic.

“You’ve still got that extra helmet, right?” Steve asked.

Chin nodded.

“Oh, baby, don’t worry. I’ve got a Harley myself.”

“What?” all three Five-0’s said in unison.

“Don’t be so surprised, childrens!” Misty looked genuinely offended. “I don’t wear all this leather because it’s slimming, now do I?”

Chin’s eyes were uncharacteristically unsettled as he departed down the corridor with Misty while she peppered him with questions about his bike. From what Steve could gather as they left, she was an enthusiastic expert on the topic.

Kono pursed her lips in sympathy as she looked up at Steve. “We’re gonna find him, Steve.”

“We may not.” Steve said, matter-of-factly.

“Steve,” She began.

“No, Kono, you and I both know there’s a possibility he’s already gone.” Steve looked at his feet. “I’ve never had so little to go off of before.”

“Well, we’ve got the plate.” Kono said. “And you know there’s always the possibility he could slip over in a bathtub and drown, but you don’t get all morose whenever he gets in the shower, do you?” She reasoned.

“I’m usually with him.” Steve joked.

Kono smiled where she would normally have mocked disgust.

Steve wasn’t done. “Why would they take him? He’s harmless and he doesn’t have any money.”

“Well, he’s not harmless, as you well know.” Kono ventured. “You know any cop who puts away high profile bad guys is going to be a target. There’s always Wo Fat.”

“He’s dead, then, Kono. We’re looking for a body. We’re looking for a body and I’ve got to figure out a way to tell Gracie-“

His words were cut off by Kono’s palm hitting his right cheek, hard enough to turn his head.

“Stop it!” She bit the tip off her consonants, pausing for a second to rub her hand. “Damn it, McGarrett, your cheekbones are like rocks!”

“Don’t slap me then.” He said, softly, becoming resigned.

“No, no. Don’t give me that.” Kono saw that Steve was withdrawing, and her eyes flared with frustration. “You’re not going to give up on this. Danny is alive, and we’re going to find him. The Steve McGarrett I know never gives up – what’s changed, Steve? Is it because it’s Danny? Is that what’s got you so gloom and doom and gun shy? Ten minutes ago, you’re like ‘we’re going to find my fucking boyfriend’ and now you’re convinced he’s dead?”

“He’s my whole life.” Steve said softly. “My whole life I’ve felt lost, and when I found him, it’s like I realized why I’d been lost, because I’d always been looking for him. I can’t feel like that again.”

“Christ, you’re starting to irritate me, McG.” Kono muttered, before looking into his eyes, realizing he really did look lost again, which drained the hardness from her face and she managed a tight, firm smile. “Go splash some water on your face. I’ll call in an APB for Danny, and the van with those plates. Once Chin uploads the video from the bar we can run facial recognition.”

“One question.” Steve managed. Kono nodded. “How do you know it’s not Wo Fat?”

“Wo Fat would have taken you both.” Kono said, matter-of-factly. “And if he was going to kill Danny, he’d wait until he could make you watch.”

“You’ve really thought about this, haven’t you?” Steve asked.

“Get.” Kono said. “I’ll be back in two minutes, and if you’re not done, I’m coming in after you.”

“Kono?”

She nodded again, putting the phone to her ear.

“Mahalo.”

“’A’ole pilikia.” She smiled.

***

Wednesday morning dawned a brilliant red, almost as though the returning sun were as angry with the previous night as Steve had been. Steve was on the widow’s walk atop the turret of Five-0 headquarters taking a break from hours of pouring over security tapes with Kono, and later Chin. He needed to feel the breeze on his face, get some fresh air, remind himself of the things he _did_ have to his investigation before thinking of all the things he was missing.

He considered how bad things could happen in such a place – a place that was always beautiful, every vista spectacular, every moment memorable, before he realized that there was an inherent sadness in the beauty of Hawai’i – the sadness of a proud, genuine, generous people all but wiped out by the West, the sadness of a sovereign nation in effect stolen by an ambitious superpower, the sadness of those who came here to seek a better life whose dreams were displaced over time with bitterness, disappointment and regret.  All throughout a relatively short recorded history rife with sadness, despair, and disappointment, Steve thought, the sun rose like this every morning, and set in brilliant splendor every night, without any regard for the triumphs or tribulations that played out beneath it during its transit of the Hawaiian skies.

He wondered if Danny could see that sunrise, if he’d regained consciousness, or if he ever would again. He knew it would take more than a crowbar to the head to end his partner, but he had no idea what his captors had in store for him. He still couldn’t understand why he would be taken in such a calculated ploy without as much as a ransom demand or a “Gotcha!” communication from the kidnappers.

“Steve.” It was Kono.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Come back down. Chin’s made a breakthrough.” She said, handing him what must have been his tenth cup of coffee already that morning.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it Kono?” Steve said.

“It always is.” She said. “It’s Hawai’i.”

He sipped his coffee and stared at the eastern sky for another minute.

“Come on, boss.” She said. “This is good news.”

He followed her down the stairs and back into the office, where Chin stood over the table, having sent several images to the overhead screens.

“The rental van was rented to a tourist named Mark Stephens. He was really startled when I woke him up at his hotel this morning. The van he registered at the hotel had a completely different set of plates than what Enterprise has on file for that vehicle, which means somebody switched them before renting it to him.”  Chin said.

“So we know the van was from Enterprise, but it’s not the one that was rented to Mark.” Steve surmised.

“Right.” Chin said. “We spoke with the Manager, and he said the plates on the van rented to Mr. Stephens were the plates on the van that he, himself currently had checked out for use as a company car.”

Kono began pointing out locations on a map of O’ahu. “Traffic cams have the van taking Pali Highway and then Kamehameha Highway up the Windward side, with the last hit being near Kahuku at around 1:30. There’s nothing after that either Northbound or Southbound between Haleiwa and Kaneohe, which means they stopped somewhere between Kahuku and Pupukea in the wee hours.

“Nothing up there but windmills and shrimp farms.” Steve noted.

“And crazy whack jobs living up in the mountains.” Chin added.

“Wait, how do we know this guy from Enterprise isn’t involved?” Steve asked.

“Says his son took off with the van yesterday afternoon, but didn’t say where he was going. He says he does it a lot, and he just uses another car off the lot until he brings it back.”

“What’s the kid’s name? Any connection?”

Chin exchanged glances with Kono.

“Blaine. He’s your bartender.”


	5. Aohiohi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and the team make progress toward locating Danny's whereabouts.

“You might as well talk story, Blaine.” Chin said. “We have all the evidence we need to book you for accessory to kidnapping, but you’ll walk with probation if you cooperate.”   
Blaine wasn’t moving, and he wasn’t responding to Chin’s questions. Instead he kept a smug grin plastered on his face, and his arms folded over his chest.   
“And we’re coming up on Danny being gone 24 hours, which means the Feds have jurisdiction to begin their investigation, and it means you’ll be in much deeper shit, up to and including the federal death penalty if Danny isn’t returned to us unharmed.”   
Blaine began to squirm uncomfortably, but kept his mouth closed.  
Steve was watching with Kono through the two-way mirror, Steve’s own arms crossed tightly across his chest. “I’m going in there.” He said, turning toward the door.   
“Sit down, boss! You promised!” Kono belted.   
“I’m not gonna kill him.” He sighed.   
Kono knew better. “My ass. Have a seat on yours, and let Chin Ho do his job.”   
Steve grumbled. He didn’t recall having put Kono in charge of the whole show, but the way she’d been calling the shots when he seemed paralyzed, he figured it’s been working out well so far. It was probably a good idea, considering what had happened earlier that afternoon.   
***  
The owner of Hula’s had told Steve Blaine would be in for the evening shift around four PM, which gave him just enough time to stop at home for a quick bite, a shower, and a change of clothes. Kono insisted on going with him. He wasn’t sure why, until he paused for a brief moment of reflection and realized he really hadn’t been himself, and despite Kono’s tough visage, he could see the unsettled look in her eyes, and the tension that had taken root immediately between them across the bridge of her nose.   
She was walking into his kitchen with an armful of mail, catalogs, bills, and a large cardboard box when he reappeared downstairs after his shower and change. His empty bedroom at home affected him in a way that Danny’s empty office at work seemed to have eluded him. Danny’s cologne on the dresser, the imprint of his head still on his pillow, the electric razor on the bathroom sink (Steve himself still used the same brand safety razor and shaving cream his father had taught him with when he was in junior high) – all the detritus of another personhood slowly coming to confluence with his own, suddenly at a painfully tentative standstill while he searched for some proof his partner still breathed life.  
He pushed thoughts of notifying Danny’s next-of-kin out of his mind. He had called Rachel in the morning as soon as he knew she would be awake so Grace wouldn’t hear it on the news, but he didn’t know how he could possible begin to break it to those who had raised Danny that their son was no longer among them, so he simply didn’t think about it.  
Kono shook the box in front of him, snapping his thoughts back to reality.   
“What’s this?” she asked. “It’s addressed to Danny.”   
Steve took the box and regarded the label.   
“New England Chandlery.” he read. “Looks like some kind of gift shop.”   
He took out his pocketknife and cut through the tape to open the box.   
Inside was a carved and varnished oak wood sign in the shape of an anchor with “The McGarretts” wood burned across the bottom.   
“He said I’d know.” Steve said, softly.   
“What’s that?” Kono asked.   
“He said I’d know.” Steve repeated, looking up. “A couple weeks ago I told him I wanted him to take my name after the wedding. He wasn’t sure then, but he said I’d know when he made up his mind.”   
Kono looked in the box. “It’s beautiful. So, Danny McGarrett.” She said, trying it on for size. “Irish much?”   
Steve managed a smile.   
“Guess I can’t call you ‘McGarrett’ anymore because you wouldn’t know which one of you I meant.” She continued.   
Steve shrugged, putting the box back down on the counter, and opening the fridge, hungry enough to eat the first thing he could get his hands on that didn’t require additional preparation. It turned out to be potato salad – Danny’s potato salad. He’d never really liked the stuff but Danny seemed to have a special gift for making good potato salad – just the right amount of mustard, not too much egg, and a little bit of dill.   
Kono was still staring at the anchor. “Damn. That man.” she said wistfully. “How could anybody not love that man?”   
Steve’s eyes began to water again while he chewed his third bite of potato salad.   
Catching the return of Kono’s concerned sister look brought a wave of self consciousness. “I’ve never been a crybaby.” He said. “Promise. And now look at me – blubbing over potato salad.” He tried to make a joke to lighten the mood.   
“You’ve never been in love before.” Kono observed.   
“Yeah, I guess.” Steve said, taking another bite and returning to the sense of urgency that seemed to have melted away the minute he returned to his sanctuary. “Let’s go. We got what we came for.”   
“You’re bringing the potato salad?” Kono asked, amused.   
“I can eat and drive.” Steve said, hugging the bowl. “We’ve got a douche to bag.”   
“Nice.” Kono said, shaking her head.  
Steve smiled to himself. He could be funny when he tried.  
***  
Steve had nearly killed Blaine when they arrested him at Hula’s later that afternoon.   
He’d waited until they were leading him down the staircase in handcuffs, where Steve knew there were no cameras, before he slammed his former friend up against the wall and jammed the barrel of his gun into his stomach.   
“I can make it slow, and painful.” He’d warned, further infuriated when Blaine returned his stare without fear or remorse.   
He recalled Chin barking at him to withdraw (thinking any man that barked at him when he was in his right frame of mind would have to have an awful lot of balls, but he knew Chin was looking out for him) and it took all his will to comply. He resisted the urge to kick the smirking kid down the stairs as Chin put a hand on his shoulder and led him away.   
“Looks like he’s not going to talk.” Steve said, staring through the glass with Kono. “Did you find anything on him?”   
Kono shook her head. “He’s the most boring man on the island. He’s from the Mainland – Arizona. Moved here with his Dad last year of high school, studying International Business at HPU. Aside from that he surfs, he goes to church, he works at Hula’s.”  
Steve thought for a moment. “Church? Which one?”   
“Church of the True Word in Waimanalo. You think something’s up boss?”   
“I don’t know a lot of churchgoers who moonlight as bartenders in gay bars.” Steve said.   
“It happens.” Kono said. “And that’s no ordinary gay bar. How many transsexual ex-Marines do you know who serve cocktails in leather miniskirts?”   
“Fair point.” Steve pursed his lips. “At any rate, someone at the church might know something. Pull Chin out of there, let’s go check it out.”   
Chin gave the two of them a look of exasperation when they reentered the interrogation room.   
“Kid doesn’t want to cooperate, boss.” Chin said, throwing up a hand.   
“That’s fine.” Steve said, glancing at Blaine and looking back at Chin, his expression deliberately dim for Blaine’s benefit. “He’ll have a while to think about it while we talk to some church friends in Waimanalo. Let’s go.”   
Blaine finally spoke. “I want my lawyer.”   
“Top of my list.” Steve threw over his shoulder on the way out.   
***  
The Church of the True Word turned out to be in a strip mall fronting Kalanianaole Highway, hidden by a Jack in the Box, sharing parking with a nail salon. It was closed up and the parking spaces were all empty when Steve pulled into the lot with Kono just shy of seven PM.   
“I’m surprised they’re this dead.” Kono said. “Most churches have Wednesday evening services, don’t they?”   
“You’re asking the wrong guy.” Steve said. “I was raised militantly agnostic. Dad always used to say ‘I don’t know, and neither does anybody else who thinks they do.’”   
“Your father is probably paying the price for that attitude right about now.” A voice came from behind them.   
Steve whipped around. A tall dark man in an Aloha shirt was walking toward them, casually, with his hands in his pockets.  
“Allow me to introduce myself, I’m-“   
“Dr. Ken Scott.” Kono finished. “I remember when you were fired by UH for teaching Psychology in violation of APA and university policies.” She frowned.   
“I simply don’t believe homosexuality isn’t abnormal psychology.” Dr. Ken explained. “That aside, how can I help you two? Have you come seeking redemption? Commander McGarrett, I know you especially have some sins to your name.” His smile remained fixed to his face, as though it were painted on a plaster mold.   
“I came to find out where my fiancé is, and guessing by the glowing reference my colleague here just gave you, it sounds like you might know where he is, and let me tell you, if one hair, one single hair, on his head is out of place-“  
“Whoa, whoa, calm down there, Commander, why would I know where Daniel Williams is?”   
Steve shifted in his Kevlar vest. This man was starting to piss him off. His gut told him he knew exactly where Danny was, and that he was dealing with the kingpin of the whole operation.   
“Blaine told us everything.” Steve lied. “We know where Danny is, so you may as well cooperate.”   
Before Dr. Ken could answer Chin Ho bounded up onto the wooden storefront from the parking lot and clapped him in a big bear hug.   
“Sam McLean you old dog! How ya been? I haven’t seen you since we did drywall at that house in Kaimuki!”  
Dr. Ken pulled back roughly. “I’m sorry, I don’t-“   
“Come on, you gotta remember me! Rob Tanaka!”   
“I’m sorry; you have me mistaken for somebody else.” Dr. Ken pressed.   
“Oh, sorry brah! My bad.” Chin put his hands up in apology. “Take it easy.”   
He shoved his hands in his pockets and disappeared around the corner.   
“If you’re not going to take me in, I really have work I should be doing. Excuse me, Commander. Best of luck with your search.”   
“Sure thing.” Steve said, stepping aside as Dr. Ken made for the door of the church.   
As he got the door open, Steve put a hand on his shoulder, to which the man visibly recoiled.   
“Just one thing, Doctor.” Steve started, “I never told you my partner’s name was Daniel Williams.”   
He looked in the man’s suddenly less confident eyes before spinning on his heel and retreating to his car alongside Kono.   
As soon as they had pulled the car back onto the highway, a call from Chin came through.   
“I’m at the L&L Barbecue just up the street.”   
“We’ll meet you there.” Steve said. “By the way, what was the whole ‘Rob Tanaka’ bit about?”   
“I may or may not have dropped a tracking device in his breast pocket.”   
Steve could hear Chin smiling through the phone. Finally, they were getting somewhere.


	6. Mu'umokaki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and the team are close to finding Danny, but the state they will find him in remains a mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No *actual* rape/non-con in this chapter, but there's intent, so I'm going to go ahead and warn for it.
> 
> Title Translation: Found in a Heap

There’s no other word than “ubiquitous” to describe L&L Barbecue in Hawai’i. The local chain had numerous locations throughout O’ahu, and even sleepy Waimanalo was no exception. The clapboard building at the corner of Kalanianaole Highway and Mekia Street had definitely seen better days, the red lettering proclaiming “L&L Drive-Inn” was probably first erected in the late ‘70s and a fresh coat of lavender paint on the first level didn’t seem to update the building’s appearance. The parking lot was filled with all manner of eccentric looking vehicles when Steve and Kono pulled in, Steve immediately spotting Chin, having chosen a seat in the window where with a clear view down the highway.  
Steve found his mind wandering again as he took inventory of the spread of food in front of Chin Ho Kelly as they slid into the hardwood booth opposite him. Plate lunches aren’t known for having the smallest portions, but Chin Ho had ordered the Barbecue Mix Plate, with two scoops of rice, macaroni salad, barbecue chicken, kalbi ribs, and barbecue beef, and a side of one each spam and Portuguese sausage musubi.  
“You really gonna eat all that, Chin?” Steve knew the man could put it away, but this was a spread. Kono looked at Steve sideways and nodded.  
Chin smiled and bounced his legs on the balls of his feet under the table.  
“Order something and have a seat. We can sit on him until he leaves the church. Tracking him on my phone.”  
“Wanna split an order of kalbi, Kono?” Steve asked.  
Kono made a face. “And pick it out of my teeth for the rest of the evening? No thanks. One musubi and I’m pau.”  
Steve smiled as he stood up. “Spam?”  
“What else?”  
Steve put in the order and plucked a straw out of the box by the register, nervously chewing on it as he kept an eye on the highway outside the glass entrance to the shop. “My Heart’s a Stereo” blared on the radio behind the counter and the girl at the register hummed along while fixing her hair. After a few moments the girl smiled at Steve, nodding down at the white Styrofoam to go boxes she was wrapping a plastic grocery bag around – his order was ready. He found it ironic that the iconic plate lunch, the local dish of the State of Hawai’i, the State famous for being in a state of relaxation, always came in to-go containers, regardless of whether you asked for them or not.  
He was thankful for the to-go containers when he saw Chin and Kono burst out of the adjacent dining room.  
“He’s on the move. Headed North.”  
Steve paused for a moment. “You gonna grab your kaukau or leave it?”  
Chin smiled. “Oops.”  
He grabbed his half-eaten meal off the table and followed them out to Steve’s truck.  
“I’ll be right behind you.” He said.  
Steve nodded and moved to get in the truck when Chin put an hand on his shoulder.  
“And Steve,” he said, in a warning tone.  
“Yeah?”  
“I know your first impulse is going to involve blood spatter on a wall somewhere. Can we for once make an arrest that will hold up in court?”  
“Chin-“  
Chin held up his hand. “Steve, trust me on this one. I don’t know what’s happened to Danny—I hope it’s nothing, but if something has—“ Chin stopped as he noticed Steve’s eyes begin to water as he coughed away a lump in his throat.  
“Trying not to think about that.” Steve managed.  
Chin put his hands on Steve’s shoulders. “Whatever happens, we’ll get better justice in a court of law. Remember that. For your sake—and Danny’s. Don’t make me ask if I can trust you.”  
“You know you can, Chin.” Steve lied, as he got in the truck and shut the door, Kono sliding in next to him. “We’ll follow you. My gut tells me he’s headed up to Kahuku where we lost track of the van – he knows we’re on the trail and he’s gonna try to clean up loose ends.”  
Chin nodded.  
“You lied to him.” Kono stated flatly as they headed north on the highway.  
“What do you mean?” Steve asked.  
“You can’t even trust yourself – don’t even try to deny it.” She cut him off when he raised a hand to object.  
Steve rolled his eyes and leaned back in the seat in silent defense.  
“Steve, what if Danny’s hurt really bad? What if we get there and he’s been beaten or tortured or raped? What if he’s dead? Can you really control your rage and not execute everybody in front of your face?”  
“How about we cross that bridge when we get to it, Kono?” Steve sighed. “Let’s get Chin on speaker so we can stay updated on this guy’s position. He’s probably at least a mile ahead of us by now.”  
“I spy with my little eye, something beginning with ‘s’.” Chin answered the phone.  
“Stables?” Kono asked. They were off to the left.  
“You got it cuz.” Chin laughed. “The good doctor is about a mile ahead of us, heading north.”  
“Really Chin, I Spy?”  
“Gotta do something to break the monotony, brah. If he’s headed to Kahuku we’re in for a long drive.”  
***  
It was dark when Danny woke up to the sound of the key engaged in the lock of his door, his pants and underwear still around his ankles and his face throbbing. He didn’t bother to look to see who had entered the room, until he jerked up when he felt the weight fall onto the mattress behind him. It was his rapist, again.  
“Please,” he started, hoping the fear he’d failed to hide in his voice would appeal to the big man’s humanity. “Not again. Take everything in my wallet. Just don’t hurt me again.”  
“Shut up, faggot.” He slurred.  
“Says the guy who can’t seem to get enough of my ass.” Danny mumbled to himself.  
He’d barely finished his sentence when he felt a pair of strong thighs press his legs apart, banging his knee, his bad knee, against the wall. Danny cried out in pain, which seemed to delight the rapist, for he slammed it against the wall, again, harder. He cried out again as he heard the sickening crunch of bone; pain shooting through the joint.  
His heart raced and his breathing grew short and shallow as he grimaced and felt the hot breath just behind his left ear, smelling of beer, and all the man’s weight bearing down on him.  
“I said shut up.” He said.  
He heard plenty of rustling, behind him, but the violation he braced himself for wasn’t coming. He realized the man was having difficulty getting hard, and he hoped if he was still enough and didn’t make any noise he would give up and leave.  
The man grunted in frustration, then whipped his head around as a shot rang out on the other side of the door. There were two more shots in rapid succession, and he could hear the man fumbling to get his shorts back up when the door was kicked in and he could hear Steve’s voice, calm and firm.  
“Get up, and back away from him, keep your hands where I can see them.”  
He heard a brief scuffle, another shot, and the sound of a body hitting the floor.  
***  
Steve was horrified at the sight of his partner face down on the mattress, naked from the waist down. He knelt next to Danny, and searched his face for a sign he was ok.  
“Danny? Baby, are you ok?” he said, fighting back tears.  
Steve could see a slight smile of relief across Danny’s face, underneath the caked blood and an eye nearly swollen shut.  
“I’m sorry, Steve. I’m so sorry babe.”  
“What for?” Steve soothed. “What could you possibly be sorry for?”  
“I couldn’t fight him off. I wanted it to be with you.”  
“Wanted what to be with me?” Steve asked.  
Danny didn’t answer, he just stared back up at Steve, who realized after a few seconds what Danny meant, and what had happened.  
Steve pressed his lips to Danny’s. “I’ve got you now. It’s over, Danny. It’s over.” He said, smoothing his blond hair down the back of his head. “Let’s get you covered up and we’ll go see a doctor. Come on, can you stand?”  
“I think so.”  
“Put your arms around my shoulders.”  
Danny complied and Steve easily pulled him to his feet, but he cried out in pain as he put weight on his feet. Steve knelt with Danny as they both fell back onto the mattress together.  
“Building’s clear, boss.” Kono said, walking into the room, politely averting her eyes when she saw the state Danny was in.  
“Kono, can you pull the truck up close?” Steve asked.  
She nodded and left.  
Chin was right behind her. “Can you call HPD and have them come deal with this mess?”  
Chin nodded. Steve saw a mix of disappointment and concern for Danny in his eyes.  
Steve felt a momentary surge of remorse, remembering Chin’s earlier words, but was overwhelmed with relief Danny was at least alive, although he looked like he’d been suffering the past 24 hours. He felt almost panicked, focused on getting Danny covered back up to preserve his dignity. He got his pants back up, but the zipper jammed and the button was missing. He covered his partner with the coarse gray wool blanket they were sitting on, thinking it would also be useful for evidence. Danny clung to his neck as Steve lifted him with a grunt and started outside.  
HPD squad cars had already arrived at the isolated compound, in the foothills of the mountains above Kahuku, the lights of the small hamlet spread beneath them, ending abruptly in a thin black line of ocean watched over by the silent black sentries of the mountains to their backs. Headlights bathed the compound in light and Steve squinted as he emerged.  
“Commander, can you tell us about the kidnapping? Is Detective Williams alive?”  
Reporters? What the fuck? How did they get here so fast?  
He was blinded by a flashbulb and his singular focus getting Danny to a hospital seemed to render him speechless and determined, although his rage was bubbling up again.  
Kono was at the wheel of his truck as he stepped up into the cab with Danny plastered against his side. She looked every bit the mix of devastation and relief that Steve felt. Devastation that Danny hadn’t come through it without some trauma, but relief that he’d come through it.  
Steve pressed a kiss to the top of his partners head and felt a tear trail down his cheek as Kono put the truck in gear and sped down the dirt road into town. He felt wretched at the thought that it probably wouldn’t be his last tear for a long time.


	7. Koaka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny gets patched up and examined at the local emergency room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Translation: Exposed
> 
> *WARNING* - No further non-con here, but this chapter primarily deals with a rape kit. It's not particularly fluffy, but I wanted to lend a degree of realism here. Danny and Steve have both suffered loss, and I wanted to document their experience dealing with it.

“I’m really sorry Commander, but-“

“Please, call me Steve.” Steve said.

“Ok, Steve.  We don’t usually have someone else in the room when we do a rape kit.”

The nurse was a _haole_ man, about Steve’s age and coloring, a bit paler, with a warm smile but a clear bullshit tolerance threshold apparent in his bright green eyes. He was wearing Aloha-print scrubs, wire-rimmed glasses, and a nametag that said “John”.  Steve could tell by the inflection in his speech that despite being a _haole_ , the man was _kama’aina_ – Hawai’i born and bred.

“Please.” Danny asked calmly and evenly. “I’d really be more comfortable if he was here.”

John nodded. “Of course.” He pursed his lips, causing his cheeks to dimple as he opened the cardboard box labeled “Rape Kit” and began to remove the manila envelopes, and assortment of paper and plastic bags.

Danny was sitting on an examination table, which was covered with hideous maroon upholstery and that flimsy sanitary paper that came on a roll. His wounds had already been sterilized and dressed, and he’d been given a series of large horse pill prophylaxis for HIV and other STDs, which neither man seemed to have even considered a possibility, and had stunned them both into contemplative silence. Steve was sitting on a chair next to him, holding his hand, which he noticed was making John uncomfortable, but he soon discovered it wasn’t for the reason he thought.

“Steve, can I ask you a favor? I know your first impulse is to be there for him, but I’m sure you both know  this as law enforcement professionals – and I know this sounds callous –“ John turned to Danny, “Right now you’re a living, feeling crime scene – I don’t like more than anybody that we have to treat you like one, but-“

“My rapist is dead.” Danny pointed out, still frighteningly calm for Steve.

“You know as well as I do there’s still accessory.” John said, which made Danny shrug and sigh.

“What I was getting at, guys, is that I need you, Steve, to give me a little space to do my job here.” John’s tone was even and non-confrontational. “So I can’t have you touching him at all until I’ve done what I need, ok?”

Steve softened a bit. “I’m sorry. It must be kind of a pain.”

John exhaled in agreement. “You’re fine – if somebody did that to my partner I’d want to make sure he felt comforted too – tell you what, I just need your clothes Danny, and then I’ll do your hands first so that’ll be out of the way and you he can hold your hand.”

“Thank you.” Danny said.

Danny began to unbutton his shirt as Steve sat back in his chair, uncomfortable until he could hold Danny’s hand again.

“Have you had sex with anyone else, in the past 48 hours?” John asked.

“Just this guy.” Danny gestured at Steve as he slipped his shirt over his shoulders, thinking for a moment. “Was it, babe? Yesterday morning?”

Steve nodded silently, midway through scrubbing a hand over his face before crossing his arms over his chest. It was killing him that he couldn’t help Danny undress. He felt a compulsive need to get his hands on him, to make sure he was ok, but he seemed fine. Danny slipped off each item of clothing and laid it on the table next to him as Steve made a mental inventory: the crushed _ilima_ lei Steve had given him the night before, a white and blue striped collared shirt with bloodstains on the collar, a pair of gray slacks with a broken zipper, a belt, tan socks, black patent leather shoes (a brand new pair, Danny had just bought them the day before), and white boxers. Danny didn’t bother with modesty, he stepped out of his underwear before even picking up the hospital gown to unfold it and figure out how to put it on.

“Be sure to sit back down on the paper.” John said. “It goes on in at the end, in case it catches and traces of evidence on your skin.”

Danny nodded.

John busied himself with gathering Danny’s clothes in gloved hands and filled a paper bag with them.

“Why paper?” Steve asked, suddenly curious.

“If the articles are stained or wet plastic encourages mold growth, which pollutes the sample.” John explained. “Do you have a change of clothes?” He asked Danny. “I’m sure you know you won’t get these back.”

Danny looked blankly at Steve, who was caught off guard.

“Not with me. I can send Kono-“

John put up a hand. “No worries. We can give him a t-shirt and some scrubs before you leave.”

John opened one of the manila envelopes and extracted two plastic bags, a wooden scraper, and a pair of nail clippers.

“It looks like your nails are pretty short.” John said. “So we’ll just scrape under them.”

Danny nodded. “I cut them yesterday afternoon. You won’t find anything under them anyway. It happened pretty quick.”

“Just in case.” John smiled. “I’ll be quick.”

Danny looked over at Steve while John worked, wincing once or twice as John accidently dug a bit too deeply under the nail. He definitely looked the part of a victim of assault. His right eye was black and he had various cuts and scrapes on his forehead, and dried blood crusting the bottom of his busted lip.

But those eyes – those piercing powder blue eyes still betrayed a blazing intensity that was still very much his Danno, even if their corners seemed to have fallen downward into a deep abyss.  Those eyes that always seemed to crinkle with happy, playful contentment whether they were gazing across the breakfast table, hotly debating in the car, or studying Steve’s own eyes intently during sex, were suddenly devoid of that joy – as though it had abandoned them in that dingy little prison and allowed only fear and sadness to bubble to the visible surface instead.

Steve thought for a minute, trying to think of where he’d seen those sad eyes before, and he remembered with a ruminative smile. When he was child, the McGarretts had a pair of Lhasa Apsos, a male and a female.  Whenever the pair of them took off chasing one of the neighbor’s cats, the male dog couldn’t run as fast as the female, so he trailed half a length behind her, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, and whining because he hated being behind. The dog’s coffee-colored brown eyes were then set in frustration and disappointment – the same mix Steve saw in his partner sitting there on the exam table.

Steve mouthed “I love you” to Danny, who smiled and mouthed the words back.

The instant John had finished collecting the scrapings into the plastic bags; he nodded at Steve, who took Danny’s hand.

“I want to go home, babe.” Danny said.

“Me too.” Steve returned. “We’ll have a soak in the Jacuzzi.”

“Sounds good.” Danny managed a smile.

Steve kept his grip on Danny’s hand, and could feel the tenseness in his partner’s own hand. He was clutching Steve’s hand with their fingers interlocked, almost with a fear of losing hold on him, yet the outward emotion in his posture, voice, and facial expression was calm, as though nothing had happened.

John pulled four hairs from the front, back, and sides of Danny’s scalp for a baseline sample, which Danny hardly seemed to notice. Steve felt tense exhaustion tugging at his body, and he could tell that Danny was near that point as well. John was swabbing the inside of Danny’s mouth when he jumped as though he’d forgotten something.

“What did you tell Rachel and Gracie?” He asked.

Steve’s palm was beginning to sweat and he unclasped it from Danny’s to wipe it on his pants. “I told Rachel everything I know, and I told Gracie that we didn’t know where you were, but we were looking for you, and I’d call her as soon as we found you.”

Danny sighed. “Thanks babe. It’s probably what I would have said.”

John was raising the back of the exam table and motioned for Danny to lie back, after which he fitted stirrups that Danny had a noticeable difficult time getting his feet comfortable on.

“Hopefully the last time you ever have to be in stirrups.” John remarked.

Danny rolled his eyes. “Can we just make it quick?” He said, letting his irritation show. “I’m tired, and I would like to go home.”

Danny turned his head toward Steve and locked his gaze while John combed through his pubic hair for traces and swabbed his genitals. Danny even tolerated the anal swab for fluids well, which Steve took as a silent testament to how worn out he was.

“I really wanted it to be you.” Danny said, sometime in the middle of the swab fest.

“I didn’t know that.” Steve said. “I didn’t know you were even interested.”

Danny nodded. “You seem to enjoy it.” He smiled. “I got curious.”

Steve stole a glance at John – he looked like he was trying to ignore their conversation.  

“Plenty of time for that.” Steve smiled.

John took hair samples from Steve as a baseline, in case any of his hairs or DNA were found on Danny, which he explained almost always happened whenever they had a survivor who was having sex with a regular partner. Danny was asleep on the exam table, turned on his side with his legs tucked up underneath him by the time they finished, and John had sealed all the bags and re-boxed the kit to be processed by the lab.

“Just one more step and you’ll be ready to go. I’ll be right back.” John said, leaving with the rape kit.

Steve watched his partner sleep for a moment. He was altered. Not altered by the blood or the bruising, but there was something in his expression Steve found different. Steve loved to watch Danny asleep because he looked like a little boy – the weight of the world lifted from his face and he seemed to regain the innocence and wonder of youth when he lost consciousness. But this sleeping Danny he now saw had a furrowed brow and a coiled spring as though he were ready to wake up and take flight at any moment. They’d given him some pretty heavy-duty pain medication when they saw to his wounds when he first arrived at the hospital; Steve knew he wasn’t physically hurting; at least he wouldn’t be until the meds wore off, but he still looked broken.

John reappeared after some time with a pair of scrubs, which he left on the counter next to the exam table.

“You’re all set to go.” He said in a whisper. “Also, there’s no rush. Aloha.” He smiled and left.

It pained him to wake Danny, but he knew he’d be more comfortable at home in their bed. He nuzzled Danny’s ear. “Wake up sweetheart.” Steve whispered. “Let’s go home.”

***

Steve spent the better part of the long drive back to Honolulu on the phone with Chin, gathering details about the compound, any witnesses. It didn’t take long to figure out that the place was being run as a “treatment center” for conversion therapy for gay men and women to “turn straight”. Steve was incredulous that such an idea even had legs, but Kono was able to fill him in on some of the details, having been a strong GLBT advocate in college.

Kono was driving, Steve riding in the middle of the cab, and Danny had passed out, dead to the world, with his head on Steve’s lap. Steve was busy going over the details of getting the two deceased kidnappers to the morgue when Kono took one hand off the wheel; gentle reached over and plucked the phone away from Steve’s ear, disconnected the call, and slipped the phone into the coin tray on the dashboard.

“You know, you’re one of probably three people who can get away with that.” Steve growled.

Kono’s eyes didn’t leave the road, but she stared down Steve’s reflection in the windshield. Her voice was quiet, smooth, and firm.

“Steve, we’ve got this.”

“But-“

She raised her eyebrows and Steve knew it wasn’t a good time to argue with her.

“I know you want to finish this, but you’ve got him back. You got what you came for. Let us handle the back end.”

He inhaled, ready to argue again, but Kono held a hand up.

“Look at him, McGarrett – He’s shattered. You both have healing to do.”

Steve stared back at her reflection, before his let go of the tension he was holding in his face and gave a great sigh.

“Take care of him, Steve. Take care of your family first.”

He absentmindedly tousled Danny’s hair as he considered what Kono had just said. It was the first time he’d ever heard Danny called his family before, but Kono had hit the nail right on the head.

Danny was his family, and now that it had been rediscovered and recovered, the McGarrett Family once again needed fixing.


	8. Lo'ihi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Danny both find ways to heal after the trauma Danny has suffered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Translation: "Distance"
> 
> The quoted verse is from Queen Elizabeth I's "On Monsieur's Departure". Public domain.

Steve woke up more than once during the night with Danny plastered to his side. Although they typically fell asleep in a loose embrace, legs tangled or hands held, they would separate at some point during the night. Steve was a hot sleeper, and as much as he loved having his partner nestled close to his heart, he could not sleep comfortably that way. He would move a fraction one way, and Danny would snuggle closer. He would arch away for a brief respite from the heat of the body flush against his skin, actually hearing Danny’s matted chest hair make _noise_ as it separated from his drenched back before being pulled back into him.

“Danny.” He whispered.

No answer.

“Baby?” He asked over his breath, voice still soft.

There was again no answer. Danny was out for the count, and keeping nestled close to Steve on the whim of his sleeping subconscious.

Steve sat up in bed, thankful for the cool blast of air from the ceiling fan as he separated from Danny, found the sleep pants he had dropped on the hardwood floor before slipping into bed next to where he had laid his broken and slumbering fiancé a few hours before.

 _Take care of him, Steve. Take care of your family first._ Kono’s words echoed in his head as he found his way downstairs and plucked a tub of cottage cheese out of the refrigerator, opened it, saw that it was half empty, and figuring he’d simply eat the rest of it and there was no point in bothering with a plate, added some canned peaches, poured a glass of ice water, and made for the armchair in the living room. He was just about to turn on the light when he thought better of it, remembered the similar armchair upstairs in the bedroom, and skipped the step that he knew creaked on his way back upstairs.

He grabbed the paperback he had been reading off his nightstand and settled into the leather armchair in the corner next to the bed and turned on the floor lamp above his head to the dimmest setting, carefully studying Danny’s sleeping outline on the bed, hoping he would stay asleep. He felt somehow compelled to keep a watchful eye over his partner while he slept, even though he pragmatically thought to himself that the danger had passed and the nightmare over, for the most part, and Danny seemed to want to convince everybody that he was fine, although Steve doubted it was true.

Steve took a few bites before setting the lidless tub down on the table aside the chair and found the page he had dog-eared. The book was a novel set in the Jersey during the Nazi occupation, and Steve found it particularly gripping. In his fifteen years in the Navy, the type of war that he had heard so much about, the type of war that all his training was based upon when he started, no longer existed. No longer, it seemed, was there large scale mobilization of men and material, no longer was there austerity or rationing, no longer was there the concept of “total war” (at least in the United States) that had existed some sixty years ago and still (clearly, if the book was any indication) captured the cultural imagination of both the Eastern and Western Worlds. Now it seemed, there was never a clear enemy, never a clear border, never a clear victory; only this sort of hellish arithmetic – add a victory, subtract a loss, divide an army, and multiply a threat.

At some length, he put the book back down and regarded his surroundings. He did not often sit in this armchair, though he knew it was a favorite of his father. It had mostly turned into the place where Danny set down the laundry basket after he brought it upstairs to put away their clothes. Danny, it turned out, was masterful at laundry – a good domestic quality. It wasn’t something Steve had considered when he’d fallen in love with Danny – that had been little more than genuine affection coupled with pure animal lust – but after he’d (quite honestly, rather hastily) agreed to marry the man he began to think further on what he’d bring as a life partner and parent to their children.

And Steve wanted children so bad it hurt. He wryly thought that his had been a typical American family in only one way – in that it had started out seemingly perfect and then gone to shit with frightening speed. For much of his adult life he thought he never wanted a family – partially because he was coming to terms with whether he liked men or women, thinking that if he ultimately settled on men a family would simply be out of the question; partially out of fear that it would all fall apart just as his own family had. But when he thought about it, the good times, before Mom died, he ached with such longing that he knew he was destined to give it a shot, at the very least, and if there was one thing he knew Danny was pretty damn near perfect at, it was loving his daughter.

One of his favorite photos of his Father had been taken in this very chair. He’d found it in a silver frame, tucked away in his desk when he was going through his things after the funeral. It was a black and white photo of his Father holding an infant Steve. His mother’s delicate script framed the bottom of the photo: “Jack and Steve, 1976”. He hoped one day he would take a picture with his own son in this chair - once Danny was better, of course.

He was deeply ensconced in the painstaking description of a farmer hiding some of his produce to feed his family rather than turning it all over to the Nazis when Danny began to toss the sheets about in the bed; Steve could tell he was dreaming, and it wasn’t pleasant. He began to mumble and his brow furrowed, and Steve was back on the bed in a shot to wake him.

He put a hand on his flank and gently shook him. “Danny, wake up.” When it didn’t, work he shook harder.

“Baby, wake up.”

Those familiar blue eyes snapped open, and the smell and feel of Danny’s fresh sweat enveloped Steve as he bolted up in bed and wrapped his arms around him, while his breathing slowed to normal. “Thank you.” Danny whispered as Steve petted his hair back down. “Thank you for waking me up.”

“Couldn’t let you just lie there.” Steve soothed. “I’ve gotcha now.”

“Don’t let go.” Danny mumbled against his neck.

“Not ‘till you say.” Steve began to rock, gently, back and forth, one hand clasped behind Danny’s neck, fingers splayed into his hair, the other wound tightly around him. After some time Steve began to hum, a song he remembered Mom singing to both he and Mary when they were little. He didn’t know the Hawaiian words, but he knew the name “Hi’ilawe”. His SEAL buddies often caught him humming it to himself during tedious fire watches or long patrols.

Steve didn’t let go, but Danny eventually did. Steve had lost count of how many times he’d hummed the bars of the song, but he eventually felt Danny’s grip lost its cling and Steve felt his hands slip down to the small of his back as his weight leaned heavier into him. Satisfied Danny had drifted deep enough he wouldn’t easily be woken; he laid him back on the bed and covered him.

He kissed Danny’s forehead softly, hoping more pleasant dreams were in store should he have another one before waking up for the morning, and stealthily slipped back into the armchair and reacquainted himself with his Jersey farmer and his cottage cheese. Telling himself he had gotten enough sleep already, he spent the rest of the early morning in that manner, a silent, bookworm sentinel, keeping close watch over his slumbering partner.

***

Danny woke late the next morning, the mid-morning sunlight streaming in through the windows above the bed, his gaze falling upon Steve reading a book in his armchair next to the bed. He stared at Steve for a while, thinking of something to say to get his attention, but he could not find the words. He saw Steve look up from his book, set it down, and sit on the bed next to him, and he felt they were having a conversation. He could see Steve’s lips moving, and feel his own moving in response, but all he could hear were distant sounds – birds chirping, the crash of the waves outside, the distant passing of cars on the roadway. Steve’s brow knitted in a pattern of concern and dissipating anger, his eyes alert and searching Danny’s face for an answer. Danny connected for a brief flash when he wondered what the question was before quickly thought (knowing his partner) that there was already a long list in Steve’s head.

He must have sat up in alarm at his sensory changes, for he could see Steve’s arms coming around him, watch his view of his partner disappear as he pulled him close and his view jerked back to the room itself over Steve’s shoulder, like a creaky old fashioned picture show with a slow shutter speed.  He kept sensing everything. Feeling Steve talk, soothe, pet and kiss him, feeling the vibrations of his throat and chest against Steve as he voiced responses without considering them, and forgetting them as soon as they’d been spoken. He felt everything but nothing connected. It no longer had purpose or meaning, just sensation.

His ass still hurt. It still hurt and whenever he thought about it his comprehension returned and he vividly recalled every painful thrust each time the rapist hit home.  Every tug of his hair, the rhythm, pitch, volume, tone, and cadence of every filthy insult whispered into his ear, every touch on his body seemed burned into his skin. Every touch that he catalogued in his head over and over, counting the locations and number of times and the pressure of each bruise, each scar, each invisible wound where no mark had been, but he remembered he’d been touched. Steve’s touch around him now felt distant, and muted, as though it but a memory of scream from a soundproof box from years past, but the touches he remembered felt more recent, more real.

He seemed to understand Steve wanted to make him breakfast as he rose from bed and put on the t-shirt Steve handed him and began downstairs. On the second step, he felt a pair of strong hands on his shoulders and felt he was being pushed down and taken advantage of again, and the haze suddenly lifted. He was back in that tiny concrete room again, awake from his dream and thrust back into the hurtful reality. It was happening again and he was helpless to stop it.

He heard his own voice echo up the staircase as he yelled out in frustration; angry at himself – tricked into letting it happen to him again. He pressed his back hard against the wall, thinking if they couldn’t get to his ass they couldn’t get into it again, and he braced himself, waiting for the hurt to come again but when everything came back into focus all he could see was Steve. He stared up at his beautiful, gentle, goofy boyfriend whose eyes were full of helpless tears before letting Steve hold him again. He could not understand why Steve was crying. Danny felt like crying; he wanted to – he wanted to feel something real. He felt like crying tears of helplessness and frustration, but feeling itself was dissipating again. He sat there on the second step, letting Steve hold him, jealous of the feeling his partner was doing while his own distance returned – all he could hear again was the distant cars, the distant birds, and the distant sea.

***

Steve could not remember the last time he really had a good cry, but he seemed to recall wiping away his tears as though he were ashamed of it. Ashamed of being weak, or being afraid, or showing emotion; that he did not remember, but he remembered being ashamed. This time he cried without shame as he clutched Danny close to him. These were angry tears – he knew he should not have put his hands on Danny’s shoulders like that. Damn him, he’d been around enough post traumatic men in his life to know there were certain things you didn’t do, but he forgot himself and he felt this irrepressible urge to keep his hands on Danny, feeling like he were better protected if he kept him within arm’s reach.

He did not wipe away his tears this time. Instead, he clung to Danny letting his raw emotion spill out. Even as it happened, he felt out-of-body. He was Steve McGarrett, his SEAL team’s famous poker face, and here he was sobbing just as he had done the day he lost his Mother. Unattractive, jarring sobbing that began somewhere near his heart and took up residence in his throat and sinus, forcing him to take forced, wretched breaths through curled lips in between sobs. He wasn’t sure when his holding Danny turned into Danny holding him, but by the time he managed to pull himself somewhat together he was awkwardly sitting half on the step and half in Danny’s lap while his familiar soft-for-Gracie voice spoke soothing words, but his eyes were faraway and vacant.

“I’m ok now, babe. I’m ok.” Danny reasoned.

“I didn’t – mean to – hurt you – baby.” Steve managed in between halting breaths, breathing in deeply through his stuffy nose.

Danny nodded, and wiggled out from under Steve, stood up on the steps and offered him his hand. Steve took it and followed him downstairs where a moment later he felt a damp cloth pressed against his forehead, wiping away his tears, making him feel better. He felt backwards – Danny was the victim – Danny was supposed to be the one falling apart, and here he was, calm as a mill pond, wiping away Steve’s big sloppy man tears. He was dumbly perched on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island, afraid to reach out and pull Danny close again lest he flashback.

He let Danny take the lead. His face still a blank slate, he meticulously wiped Steve’s forehead, his brow, his temples, lessened the pressure as he went over each lidded eye and down each cheek as Steve sniffled the last of it away and started to feel normal again. His eye caught Danny’s as he wrung out the washcloth and tossed it across the kitchen with perfect aim hitting the laundry basket parked at the foot of the stairs.

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Danny.” He said, his voice still clouded.

“You didn’t hurt me Steve.” Danny responded, almost robotically.

“But I-“

Danny slipped between his spread knees and kissed him.

“Babe, _you_ didn’t hurt me.”

Steve pressed his forehead to Danny’s. “I’m sorry anyway.”

Danny huffed softly, which excited Steve. Emotion. Reaction. Not distance.

“Make me some eggs.” Danny said.

Steve kissed him again. “You got it.”

***

The day wore on, and the cloud of distance between them seemed to grow thicker. After breakfast he took Danny’s hand and they went for a walk down the beach, but the conversation between them seemed halted. Steve was discussing the Hawaiian names for the seaweed that had washed up on the beach when Danny stopped and turned to him.

“ _Limu lipoa_.” Danny repeated the words Steve had just taught him. “I’ll try to remember that.”

“It’s just this particular kind of seaweed, actually. There are about sixty others. This kind is good eating after it’s been sundried.”

Danny made a face, and squinted in the morning sunlight. “Who did you shoot outside the room?”

“Dr. Ken.” Steve said. “Right between the eyes.”

“No due process?” Danny asked. “Just summarily executed?”

“He pulled a gun, Danno.”

Danny ran his thumb over Steve’s knuckles, back and forth, a few times, repeatedly, deep in thought.

“And the guy in the room with me? Dead, right? You killed him?”

Steve nodded. “Both dead, Danny. Chin and Kono are still pressing Blaine for details at HQ, and they’re looking for the other twin.”

Danny nodded. Steve braced himself for a heated lecture on disabling wounds versus the use of deadly force, but it never came. The cloud that had settled between them seemed to have taken firm hold.

“Just wanted to make sure they were dead.” Danny said. “Blaine, huh? Never would have guessed he was in on it.”

Steve felt unsettled. This was not typical Danno response, but then he was clearly suffering. This was not his typical Danno he was dealing with. He changed the subject.

“The anchor came while you were gone.”

Danny finally smiled.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

Steve nodded. “I do, baby. Does it mean what I think it means?”

Danny nodded, but his smile had disappeared. “Danny McGarrett.” He squeezed Steve’s hand. They walked down the beach a bit further before Danny spoke again.

“You didn’t have any trouble killing those men.” It was not a question.

“Killing never gets easy.” Steve mused. “But it’s the burden we carry, Danny. You know that. We’re in the protection business. And for me, that means you, that means Grace, that means our children, when we have them. There’s not a life on this planet I hold higher than yours, and that includes mine.”

Danny nodded again, absorbing what Steve had said, as they continued down the beach.

“And you say you’re not an eloquent man.”

“I’m not.” Steve said.

“That was pretty poetic, babe.” Danny smiled again.

The haze was starting to thin, and his Danno was starting to come back to him. Slowly.

***

Steve was reading aloud on the couch after dinner at Danny’s insistence. Steve was unsure where that had come from, but he was eager to take any of Danny’s suggestions to make him comfortable. Perhaps his voice was comforting to his partner for some reason he could not quite fathom.

It was one of his Mother’s books he found to read aloud, a biography of Queen Elizabeth I of England. Danny had taken a keen interest in a PBS biography of her some months ago, to Steve’s bemused surprise, so he thought it would be a compelling read. Danny had his head on Steve’s shoulder, his hair tossing lightly in the breeze from the ceiling fan, staring at the page Steve was reading from, but Steve wasn’t sure if he was following along as he read one of Elizabeth’s verses: __

 _I seem stark mute but inwardly do prate.  
I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned,  
Since from myself another self I turned_   
__

Steve’s ringtone pierced the Tudor Queen’s ruminations, and he ceased them to answer the call. It was Max.

“Commander McGarrett. I hope I have not called too late in the evening.”

“Max, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Steve?”

“I am sorry. Co- Steve. I keep forgetting. I will try to remember in future. Ahem, the _sample_ that was taken from Detective Williams, er, his… The _sample_ taken from Detective Williams does not match the DNA of either deceased found at the scene.”

“What does that mean?” Steve asked, eying Danny who was now looking up at him intently.

“The _sample_ was a very close DNA match for the assailant, but it was not his. There was a single chromosome of difference, indicating the rapist was very closely related to the deceased. A brother, perhaps.”

Steve cursed to himself.

“Thanks Max. Can you send the results to Kono so she can run it against the database. And thanks for the rush – I appreciate it.”

“Yes.” Max said. “And I’m sorry for – I mean – my condolences for Detective – I mean – it’s terrible to-“

“Danny will appreciate your thoughts.” Steve cut him off. “Aloha Max.”

“Aloha… Steve.”

Steve disconnected and noticed Danny was holding onto him much tighter than he was before, curled into a tight ball against his side.

Steve’s heart fell. _Back to this, eh?_

“You heard that, didn’t you?”

“He’s alive, Steve. Isn’t he? He’s alive?”

Steve petted Danny’s hair. “Yes, he’s alive. It’s gonna be ok, Danno. It’s gonna be ok.”

“No!” The volume and pitch of Danny’s voice raised.

At least Danny was yelling again.

“I’m going to go call Chin and Kono and let them know they’ve got new information coming through.”

Danny’s grip kept him on the couch. “Don’t leave me. Read to me a little bit more.”

Steve proffered a kiss to the crown of Danny’s head, feeling the cold sweat that had broken out upon it. After sending a quick text to the cousins, he continued reading, although he felt he was reading the same words again, having no idea where he left off. The important thing was it seemed to calm Danny from the shock , although Steve made a mental note to take him to see a therapist – he was definitely in over his head.

 _My care is like my shadow in the sun,  
Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it,  
Stands and lies by me, doth what I have done.  
His too familiar care doth make me rue it.  
No means I find to rid him from my breast,  
Till by the end of things it be supprest._


	9. Loa'a Hou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After several days of coping with Danny's recovery, Steve makes a discovery and decides on a course of action.

By the third day, Steve felt he was going stir crazy and Danny was going clinically insane.  He followed Steve around the house like a hungry animal, not wanting to be alone, even for a moment. Bathing was easy – that was more fun with Danny in the first place. Early one morning, after Danny had jarred awake by another set of nightmares, he was so dazed and distant in the bath that Steve had to cover his eyes with his free hand while he poured water into his hair to wash out the shampoo. He’d sat on the edge of the tub after the water drained, feet flat on the floor, hands palm up on his thighs as he watched Steve dry him off with a worn navy blue towel. Steve looked into his eyes and wondered if his partner was in there at all, and how long he had yet to spend as a silent spectator, watching Steve go through both of their routines for them.

 Other times he bordered on hysterical - little things like going to the bathroom were difficult. Although Steve was no stranger to going in the wide open, in front of a bunch of Navy SEALs he was for some reason uncomfortable doing his business in front of anybody if he wasn’t forced to, but Danny insisted he couldn’t be left alone even then. They had finally worked out a system where one of them was in the bathroom, and the other was just outside the closed bathroom door to keep up conversation; reassurance for Danny that he wasn’t alone.

Danny’s libido had returned vigorously that third morning, but even that came with horrible reminders of the rape. Steve had woken up with Danny’s morning erection nuzzled in the crack of his ass, and he teased him by clenching the muscles and feeling his dick bounce. No sooner had Danny slipped down his sleep pants and pushed Steve onto his stomach had Steve’s eyes widened with the memory of the big horse pill Danny got at the hospital in Kahuku. He rolled over and reminded Danny the doctor had told them to use rubbers until they could be satisfied Danny would test negative, which would be another six months of waiting.

There were not any rubbers in the house (they had never used them before) but Danny’s persistent morning boner would not take no for an answer and after a quick trip to the drug store up the street, Danny fucked him twice, with all the confidence and energy of a man who had regained a lost dominion.

“I miss people.” Danny said as he held Steve in their habitual post-coital tangle of limbs.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked Danny’s chest, underneath his left cheek.

“It’s just been you and me these past couple days. Not that I mind, but I miss everybody. I want to see them.”

“Give ‘em a call. Gracie would love to see you again, I’m sure.” Steve mumbled. Grace knew only the basic details of what had happened, and Rachel had been hesitant to let her see him, although Steve had updated Rachel via mobile on the ride home from Kahuku. “I can talk to her if I need to.” He added.

“She should be ok.” Danny said. He paused thoughtfully for a moment as he stroked Steve’s hair. “I’m not…”

“Not what?” Steve asked.

“Unstable.” Danny said. “Crazy. I’m not crazy, Steve.”

Steve lifted his head off Danny’s chest and propped his head on his arm. “No, baby, you’re coping with trauma. That’s not crazy. You’re doing very well, Danny.”

Danny sighed, and Steve responded with a kiss.

***

Rachel visited that afternoon with Grace, and for a small moment, Steve saw a glimpse of the innocent, unspoiled Danny that had left them all during his confinement, as though she was the salve for his wounds, the catalyzing tonic for his pain.

“Daniel doesn’t do well with pain.” Rachel remarked matter-of-factly as she sat in the kitchen with Steve. They both had untouched cups of tea on the table in front of them as they both fixed their gazes on Danny and Grace, outside on the lanai, playing Go Fish. Grace seemed carefree and settled, fussing with the hair blown into her face by the gustier than normal trade winds before finally pulling it up into a ponytail. Danny’s face had relaxed into a comfortable smile as he watched his daughter, but he still kept looking over his shoulder – at inside at Steve and Rachel, out toward the ocean, to either side of the yard, as though he were expecting a threat to come from any direction.

Steve set his jaw and kept his gaze fixed on Danny as he took a tentative sip of his tea. It was refreshing to see a smile on his face.

“I don’t know how to fix him.” He didn’t mean to say it aloud, but he did.

“I’m not really the best authority on that.” She said with a wry smile.

“We can’t get married like this.” He didn’t mean to say that aloud either, but Rachel felt like a truth serum to him – somebody else who knew Danny intimately, so he felt like he could verbalize around her more easily because of the shared connection.

If she was uncomfortable talking about her ex-husband’s remarriage, her face wasn’t betraying her sentiments. She took another measured sip. “Plenty of time yet.”

“You seem very sure about that.”

Rachel broke her stare out the window and looked Steve in the eye. “He loves you, and it’s rather unlikely that’s going to change anytime soon.”

“Of course you know what Danny in love looks like.” Steve observed.

“I also know too well what it looks like when it’s falling apart, and you’re not anywhere close.” She said.

“You can tell that after a half hour?” Steve was incredulous.

Rachel smiled again. “What’s the American expression? ‘A guest for a while can see for a mile.’”

“Never heard that one.” Steve smiled.

“Commander McGar-“

“Steve.” He corrected her.

“Steve.” She repeated. “I don’t know what ‘forever’ looks like, but I like to think the two of you are it.”

“Am I the only one who has doubts?” Steve asked.

“That’s normal.” She said. “But let me give a bit of advice, if I may.”

Steve nodded, as Rachel took another sip of tea and cleared her throat. “Banish them from your mind.” She said. “It’s perfectly normal to have doubts – it’s a big step for anybody to take, even for you, Comma- Steve. Can I tell you a secret?”

“’Course.”

“I fully believe he would have loved me forever if I had been able to handle it.”

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“My point is,” she quickly added, “that once he loves, he does it for good.”

Steve nodded.

“Have you made plans for the honeymoon?” She changed the subject.

Steve nodded again. “Two months. Around the world.”

“Ambitious.” She said.

“I guess.” Steve scratched his head. “I just want to take his hand and take him to see all we can see.”

Rachel smiled. “You’re besotted.”

Steve smiled back at her. He was.

***

Misty Trawler visited later in the day, bearing a gift of malasadas from Leonard’s Bakery.

“How did you know I liked these?” Danny asked, after wolfing down the first two bites.

“Two ways, baby: one, everybody likes Leonard’s malasadas; two, you ramble when you’re drunk, _mijo_ , and I’ve seen you drunk _a lot_. There are two people in this world you can’t hide things from, your partner and your purveyor of adult beverages.”

Danny smiled again, and Steve chuckled from behind the bowl of salad he was tossing.

“Would you like to have some dinner with us?” he asked. “I’m sure there will be plenty left over now that Danno’s gnawed through two of those.”

Danny mocked him, but Steve just laughed harder.

“You too are still so cute!” Misty squealed. “I got to get outta here actually, I’ve been tending bar because that shitbag hasn’t been replaced yet.” She said, referring to Blaine. “What’s going on there, anyway?”

Steve buried the tongs into the salad and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“He’s being arraigned on accessory kidnapping and rape charges, which the DA tells me can be done without Danny’s witness testimony.”

“But I can do it, babe.” Danny offered.

“Danny if we get the same result without it, it just doesn’t make sense.” Steve said firmly.

“Hey, malasadas!” Chin’s voice carried in from the hallway. “Mind if I snag one brah?”

Steve nodded. “Ho brah, howzit? Hello ladies.” He acknowledged Kono and Malia.

“Gotta go.” Misty gestured toward the door. “Aloha, boys!”

Steve nodded her out. “You all want some mahi? There’s a lot.”

Chin smiled through the malasada, sending the girls into fits of giggles. Steve admired his sunny disposition, and felt genuinely better by his presence.

True to Steve’s prediction, Danny didn’t eat much at dinner. When he stood up to leave the table, he looked over at Steve.

“Babe?”

Steve knew he had to go to the bathroom, and he felt awkward. He had told Chin a little about the difficulties Danny was having, but he left out some of the more intimate details.

“If you’ll excuse us, just a moment, we’ll be right back.” Steve felt blush rising up the back of his neck as the three visitors regarded them strangely, until a look of understanding washed over Malia’s face and her cheeks dimpled in a knowing expression.

“I’ll explain it to them.” She said.

“Thanks.” Steve mouthed.

It was a quick trip to the loo, and Steve sat on the countertop while Danny emptied his bladder. That he could handle.

Danny was apologetic.

“I’ll get over it. I think. Eventually. I just feel safer, for now, you know.”

“We’re gonna be fine.” Steve said. “You’re gonna be fine.”

“I just can’t understand, why me? Why did this happen?” Danny asked as he shook off the last few drops and flushed the toilet.

“Ah, the _big_ question.” Steve mused. “Well, you know why. They thought they could _fix_ you.”

Danny thought for a moment while he washed his hands. Steve watched the intent look on his face while he vigorously scrubbed with the bar of soap.

“I never thought that would happen to me. You know, that I’d be the victim of a hate crime. I never qualified to be a hate crime victim. Funny.”

“How’s it funny?” Steve asked.

“I’m a boring, average guy, and any crime that would happen to me would just be a boring, average crime, if there is such a thing, and then one day I fall for your big Neanderthal ass, and all of a sudden, there are people who want to commit _hate crimes_ against me because of it.”

“What are you saying, Danny?”

Danny dried his hands and propped them on the edge of the counter, exhaled, and looked over at Steve.

“I don’t know.” He said. “Just talking out loud I guess.”

Steve nodded.

“You’re hating this.” Danny said. It wasn’t a question.

“I hate that you’re hurt.” Steve said, putting his hand over Danny’s. “I hate that you’re hurt and I can’t fix it. I hate that a touch or a sound sends you into a flashback. I hate that this happened to you because of me.”

“Happened to me because of you? What the hell are you talking about, babe? What did you have to do with any of this?”

“I’m the one who-“

Danny shifted his weight deeper on the countertop.

“You’re the one who made me gay.”

Steve studied the floor. “It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud.”

“That’s because it is ridiculous!” Danny was a click south of shouting, which made Steve feel secretly relieved again.

Steve kept studying the floor, dumbly.

“Look at me.” Danny said moving to stand in front of him. When Steve didn’t he put a finger under his chin and tilted it up so he was looking Danny in the eye.

“Look at me.” He repeated. “You didn’t make me anything. All you did was _finally_ tell me how you really felt, and the rest was me, got it?”

Steve felt like an idiot.

 _So the pendulum swingeth the other way yet again. Danny swings from hysterical to Yoda when I fall to pieces. We really are made for each other._

“Come on babe. They’re waiting.”

They were almost to the bottom step when Steve put a finger up to his lips and held Danny in place on the stairs. Danny protested, but remained silent, giving into Steve’s crazy like he had so many times before. He stood there fixed on the stairs with Danny braced in his arms across from him as he strained to her the conversation between Chin and Kono.

“You can’t keep him out of it forever, cuz.” It was Kono.

“We’ve gotten this far.” Chin said in a hushed tone. “I don’t like not sharing intel with Steve but you know what happens as well as I do if he finds out we know the kid’s still on O’ahu, that he’s made cell phone calls that were picked up from the tower down the street from here, and we haven’t been able to bring him in yet. You _know_ what _happens_ , Kono.”

Steve clenched his jaw as he felt the bile rise inside him, but it was Danny who bubbled over first.

“He’s here! Steve, he’s here, he’s been here! He’s been coming to get me again!” Danny babbled.

Steve began to panic. Danny had lost it before, but he’d never gone overboard like this. He grasped at Steve and put all his weight into him, pushing Steve into the wall behind them, forcing him off his balance as they both tumbled off the stair and onto the hardwood floor. Steve noticed the three at the dining room table had turned around in a panic and Chin was already out of his chair before they had gone all the way down.

Danny continued to rant as Steve repeated his name over and over trying to get his attention, get him focused long enough to calm him down, but it wasn’t working. Steve, already feeling hot with anger that Chin and Kono had been holding out on him, warmed further as his frustration that he couldn’t do anything to help Danny intensified. Everything seemed to cave in upon him at once: Chin apologizing and begging Steve to forgive him for not sharing information, Kono trying to explain, and Malia’s face a mask of sad concern as she knelt beside them and Danny seemed to slowly calm, staring his left bicep with a confused look on his face.  Steve noticed the plunger sticking out and realized Malia had injected him with something right through his shirt.

That made him mad too, until Malia caught his glance and that was all the explanation he needed. He understood his team, and even this woman who was almost as good as a stranger had come to his home that evening themselves torn over whether they were helping or hurting. He knew they had only the best intentions at heart, otherwise he’d pity anybody who drugged his partner without his consent, right in front of him, for the pain he’d put them through.

He held up his hand as he watched Danny melt into a daze. He turned to Malia.

“Mahalo.”

She exhaled the breath she was holding, and Steve realized she was afraid of his reaction; just as she had every right to be.

“Chin told me about how he’s been reacting.” Malia explained. “I thought it might come in handy. Let’s get him into bed while he’s still awake – he’s going to be out for several hours.”

Steve got Danny upstairs and into bed without a great deal of help from his friends, but the three of them looked pensive after they had retreated downstairs and Steve reappeared downstairs, entirely in black, with his gun holsters and more than one bad mother of a knife strapped to his body.

He knew Chin was going to try to talk him out of it, and he had to keep himself from gesturing with the machete as he pulled it out and inspected it before sheathing it back into its sleeve. His voice was soft and low, slow and deliberate.

“Chin, he’s my family, and I have a right to protect my family. And I’m going to whether you say it’s ok or not. I’m not going to stop you if you, as an officer of HPD need to arrest me for what I’ve just said, but I need you to know this is what I have to do.”

“Do what?” Chin asked.

“What?” Steve asked.

Kono rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Steve.” Chin stared him down.

Steve shrugged as though it would indicate to Chin he that needed further explanation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Chin repeated.

Steve stood in silence for another second before Kono interjected.

“What he’s saying, boss, is that you’re talking nonsense, and neither one of us has any idea about what you’re planning to do with all that hardware after you leave here.”

Steve realized her words were deliberately chosen.

“Can one of you stay with Danny until I get back?”

All three nodded in unison.

“Mahalo.” He said, before he turned and exited into the night.


	10. Ola Hou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve works to round up the rest of Danny's kidnappers. 
> 
> Translation: "Recover"

Steve hadn’t made it past Kaimuki before he realized in all his raging he’d meant to go to the bathroom before leaving the house. Moments later he’d pulled off the freeway and found a gas station. Doing his best not to do the potty dance, he fast walked toward the exterior bathroom, and finding it locked with a keypad, cursed under his breath before trotting around to the front of the store and through the sliding glass doors into the over air-conditioned, overlit convenience store. 

There was a line of customers five deep at the counter; Steve mouthed “Bathroom code?” deliberately trying to look frantic. 

“Bat-room fo’ customah ony.” The young male clerk said in heavily Hmong accented English without really looking. 

Steve inwardly groaned, and realized the entire line of customers had turned around and were each staring at him nervously. He remembered he was dressed entirely in ninja gear and had more than one gun conspicuous on his person. He grabbed the closest shelf item without looking, and tensely waited for the rest of the customers in front of him to be served. 

_ Who uses a coupon at a gas station? _ He wondered, frustrated, as the customer right in front of him in line fussed with the clerk over a coupon she was trying to use. 

Danny would use a coupon at a gas station. He smiled dumbly to himself, thinking about how smiley and cordial Danny always was with service people; so damned charming and polite. He began to burn again inside, not because he had to go to the bathroom, but because thinking about how charming and affable Danny was made him so angry there were people in the world who had hurt him, who could even have the balls to do bad things to his perfect man. 

“You li’ Hello Kitty?” The clerk asked.

Steve broke out of his thoughts. 

“Hello Kitty? You li’ Hello Kitty?” The clerk asked again.

“What?” 

The clerk let out a laugh. “You buy Hello Kitty Band-Aid.” 

Steve looked down at the pink box on the counter. He had indeed grabbed a box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids without looking. 

“Uh, yeah. How much?” 

The clerk stared for a moment and then laughed again. 

“Two nighty fi’.”

Steve threw three dollars on the counter. “No change. Can I have the bathroom code now?” 

“Fi’ Oh, Fi’ Oh.” 

_ Perfect. 5050\. Never woulda guessed.  _

Steve pocketed the Hello Kitty Band-Aids, fairly ran to the bathroom, finished his business, and sped again into the night. 

***

Back at the McGarrett house, Malia read Chin and Kono the riot act. 

“What’s he going to do when he finds this kid?” She demanded. 

The cousins looked uncomfortable; neither spoke. 

She asked again. 

Chin spoke first. “Honestly, I don’t know.” He said, exasperated. “I told him before we hit the compound in Kahuku it wouldn’t do to go in shooting and we all know how that turned out.” 

“ _They_ were armed and shooting.” Kono pointed out. 

“They were, cuz, but Steve knows as well as you or I how to disarm a perp without killing them.”

“You think he’s going to kill him?” Malia asked. 

“Whether that’s what he’s intending or not, it’s definitely a possible outcome.” Chin said with a shrug. 

“That won’t be good.” She said. “The consensus among rape counselors is that one of the vital parts of the healing process is facing your attacker and publicly telling them how they’ve injured you. Danny can’t do that if his attacker’s in a body bag.” 

The cousins exchanged silent glances. 

“I’m saying go after him!” she exclaimed after a pause. “For Danny’s sake.” 

Chin gave a characteristic sigh. 

“Steve’s not characteristically messy.” He said. 

He was met with a pair of confused stares. 

“Sorry,” he said, “I was several steps ahead in my mind before I spoke. I was thinking about the fallout.” 

He turned to Malia. “You really think Danny’s better off if Steve doesn’t go eliminate this guy?” 

Malia nodded. 

He glanced over at Kono. “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve gone after him after he’s gone off the deep end.” 

Kono shook her head. “Nobody can talk him down like Danny. I’m not sure how much luck we’d have.” 

“We can give it a shot.” He said, getting up. “If it helps Danny heal.” 

“I’ll stay with him.” Malia said. “You two go, before the body count increases.” 

“Where do you think he went?” Kono asked. 

“HQ.” Chin said, standing up. “He doesn’t have any info beyond what he overheard so he’s going to have to make a pit stop. Hopefully we can catch up with him there.” 

“I’ll drive.” She said. “Try his phone.” 

Chin gave Malia a quick kiss. “Call one of us if you need us. You said Danny should be out for a couple hours at least, right?” 

Malia nodded. “Probably until morning. Chin?” 

Both cousins stopped and turned on their way out the door.

“Mahalo.” She said. “For listening. I think it will greatly benefit Danny in the long run.” 

“No worries.” Chin smiled and pushed open the screen door. 

***

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t put a bullet between your eyes.” Steve managed between gritted teeth. 

“One more sin for the list? Be my guest.” He sneered, with a twitch of a shrug. “I’ve made my peace with the Lord. You ignore His Law and think it makes you strong, but you’re wrong.” 

“His Law?” Steve exploded. “His Motherfucking _Law_? Do you have _any_ idea what you’re saying? Is it _His_ Law that you beat my partner so badly that he needed three stitches? Is it _His_ Law that one of the most confident men on this island now lives in fear?”

Steve’s voice softened, reflectively as he shifted his gun in his hands, which were beginning to sweat. “Is it His Law that you took one of the best parts of life and used it to intimidate? You explain to me how that’s fair and just. You just explain it.” 

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” The man’s face remained steeled in determination, betraying no hint of remorse. Steve thought he had seen hatred before, and he realized he hadn’t. He’d seen fear, he’d seen contempt, he’d seen mocking irritation. But he realized, as he stared, that he was staring at pure, unadulterated hatred – from a man he’d never met – whose name he only knew once he’d pulled it up on the screen at Headquarters. He narrowed his eyes and zoned in on his opponent’s pupils in a frozen staredown.

“It’s not the Lord he fears,” Steve said, “It’s you.” 

“McGarrett, put down your weapon. Let’s take him in.” Chin’s voice echoed off the thin apartment walls. He kept his eye on the beefy blond man, on the maddening defiance of his upturned nose and mocking, hateful stare. 

“You’re going to have to take it from me Chin.” 

He felt Chin come up from behind him, click on the safety, and slip the cold steel out from between his fingers. He could smell Kono’s perfume and he knew she was there too. 

As Kono moved to cuff the bastard, Steve couldn’t help but get up close and personal with those hated blue eyes just to see if he couldn’t stare them down, now that he’d finally gotten a good look into them. Kono stopped, with a blank expression, as if she knew Steve needed a minute with the man who’d raped his partner. 

The eyes remained steeled, even though Steve managed to muster his best bad ass stare down. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve stolen from me?” He asked. “From us?” 

“Yes.”The guy actually smiled. 

_ He’s pleased with himself. The son of a bitch is happy about what he did! _

Almost as if in slow motion, he watched the nostrils on the upturned nose flare, the facial muscles tense, the lips purse – and before he anticipated how to react he felt the man’s forehead connect right between his eyes. His hand flew out reflexively but only grazed the middle of the man’s back as Kono jerked him away and toward the door. 

He felt like a fool as he sank to his knees with a palm pressed against his face. He rarely failed, but he’d let his guard down for a split second and gotten clocked right in the face by the man he’d come to take out. In the rare event of a Steve McGarrett failure he had a tendency to mentally catalogue all the failures that had preceded it until the tension became almost unbearable. 

“You’re bleeding.” Chin said as he knelt in front of him. 

“I’ve got… Band-Aids.” Steve said as he felt his pocket. 

“Super SEAL carries Hello Kitty plasters as part of his battle get-up?” Chin smiled. 

“Just hand me one please.” 

Steve stared for a second at the pink bandage with the cartoon cats all over it. It really was an effective distraction, and he couldn’t help but smile, as silly as he thought it was. 

“I shouldn’t have let you leave.” Chin said as he placed the bandage. 

“You should have kept me in the loop.” Steve said. 

“What, so you could have buckarooed him sooner?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then you might have actually killed him, Steve. Come on, I’ll explain to you why it’s good you didn’t. Aside from the obvious reasons.” 

Chin stood up and offered Steve his hand, which he took. 

_ Chin’s picking up Danny’s tricks,  _ Steve thought. _Treating me like I’m some kind of girl._

“Shit.” He told the empty apartment. 

“What?” Chin asked. 

“Just, shit.” Steve said. 

“I know.” Chin said. 

***

The twin, whose name turned out to be Chad, had continued to be combative and uncooperative when Kono and Chin had interrogated him while Steve stalked the floor on the other side of the mirrored window. Regardless of whether he talked, the DNA evidence was irrefutable, and after several hours Chin exited and suggested that Steve call it a night. 

His fatigue danced through the unsettled feeling he had about the evening’s events. He understood why physicians weren’t supposed to treat members of their own families – the pressure was too much. He felt as though he’d bungled Danny’s rescue, felt as though he’d bungled bringing in the final missing kidnapper. He couldn’t help it, he thought – his instincts kicked in and he seemed unable to control his rage when his Danny was in danger, and it somehow clouded his judgment and weakened his other senses. 

He crept back into the house in the predawn darkness, wondering if Danny was still asleep. Malia didn’t seem at all tired, although the house was noticeably cleaner than when he left it. He had a mean OCD streak himself but somehow the place was sparkling. She sheepishly explained she was a compulsive cleaner, and she felt she owed him for arbitrarily tranquilizing his partner. He thanked her warmly and offered to drive her home but she had her car and she slipped away with a gracious smile. 

He flicked off the downstairs lights padded upstairs, finding Danny still asleep on Steve’s side of the bed. Eager to hold his partner after a trying night, he uncharacteristically left his black ninja pants on the floor where he dropped them and slipped under the covers. Danny shifted in the shadows, his eyelids parted and he smiled lazily when he saw Steve. 

“Hello, Kitty.” 

Steve flushed as he felt the pink bandage still on his forehead with his fingertips. He’d forgotten about it. 

“Didja get him?” Danny was still smiling. 

Steve nodded. 

“Thank you.” Danny was staring, his eyes glassed over. He stared for some time before his eyes closed, not in a blink but a deliberate close and hold before they slowly lidded back open. He studied Steve for a moment before his eyebrows clicked together. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I feel like I screwed up, Danny.” 

Danny took a second to process. 

“Take your shirt off and come over here babe.” 

Steve gave him a confused look. 

“Come on.” Danny said, tugging at the tail of Steve’s shirt. “We’ll talk it out.” 

Steve pulled his shirt off and made for his usual position on Danny’s collarbone, the spot where Danny could nuzzle the top of his head, unfamiliar and awkward on the wrong side of the bed, and the wrong side of his partner. Danny stopped him on the way down for a pair of closed lip morning kisses before Steve settle in and began to explain himself while Danny traced a line across his shoulders. 

“It was like I was jogging through the ocean, Danny. I wasn’t as good as I usually am.” 

“You rescued me.” Danny pointed out. “You took out those guys.” 

“I guess.” Steve sighed. 

Danny jerked Steve closer. 

“None of that.” 

“I can’t help it Danny. I feel like a fuckup. Sometimes I wonder-“ He stopped himself. 

“Tell me.” Danny kissed his hair. 

“If we can get married like this.” He said quietly. 

“Like this? No.” Danny said. “But we won’t be like this forever. This will get taken care of. It’ll pass. Plenty of time ‘til the wedding. And if we’re not ready, we’ll just reschedule.” 

Steve looked up at Danny and smiled. 

“I love how confident you are.” 

Danny kissed him. 

“I love that you fought for me.” 

“I tried.” Steve said. 

“I’m chalking it up as a win, baby.” Danny said. “And it won’t be the last time, I promise.” 

“Won’t be the last time I fight for you either.” 

Steve smiled as he turned on his side and curled his arm around Danny’s chest and watched the rise and fall of it slow as he drifted back to sleep.He thought about the thieves and what they’d stolen from him and his partner, and what they’d tried and failed to steal from them. He hoped he wouldn’t have to spend the rest of his life fighting for Danny; the last week had been exhausting. 

But if he had to, he knew he would. 


End file.
